-`teach me how to say .GOODbye ♥;

[dream.]

[ d r e a m star ♥ thunder c l a n ]

If she had ever felt pain before , it was nothing , nothing compared to this . Agonizing hurt was piercing her body , and she felt it more when she moved . Forcing herself to become unnaturally still , the beautiful silver femme blinked her heavy lids open , revealing slightly glazed , ice blue irises . Hazed shapes moved around her . She could not distinguish their confused outlines , and her head was throbbing . Giving in , she let her eyes slip closed , and listened . Muffled voices surrounded her , she could just make out the indecisive and panicked tones before they swept her up completely , and then faded . Faded into darkness . Blissful , cool darkness . It was like a splash into icy cool water . There was nothing . Nothing in the world . No more pain and agony . No more fear . Fear for her life , or the life of her kits . Fear for the discovery of her one dark secret . It was all over .

Dreamstar didn`t know where she was . Or if she was , in fact , somewhere . She didn`t even know if she existed , really . There was , it seemed , nothing around her . Except for stifling blackness . She became aware that her kits and clanmates were no longer with her . It felt as if their scent had gone on the non existent breeze . But this didn`t bother the beautiful she - cat in the least . It had already dawned upon her what had happened . As more time passed , she became positive of her fate . So this is what it feels like to die , She thought . Curiosity to find out more , was overshadowed by a deep , instinctive foreboding that kept her eyes shut tight .

A long time later , or maybe it was no time at all , the pale queen decided to risk it . She blinked open her icy blue orbs , and the scene seemed to paint itself before her very eyes . The discovery that she was not floating in suffocating darkness , but laying in soft , cool grass , brought Dreamstar to her paws . A warm , yet crisp breeze flowed around her paws , and seemed to tip her muzzle skyward , it`s voice ruffling her ear fur . Look .. up above ; they call for you , your destiny awaits . Go .. It faded as quickly as it had come . Silverpelt stretched out above her , dense clusters of light twinkling and dancing in the heavens . And with that , Dreamstar knew that she must go .

Her pawsteps seemed to make no noise at all , as she padded slowly through the long , cool forest grass . The woodland in which she strode through at mid night this evening was quite particular . Tall , smooth leafy trees rose up above her , their trunks smoother than usual . Her vision was crisp and clear , and there was no undergrowth to duck beneath , just cool , dark grass . The trees that grew rather close together begun to thin out , and the silvery coated femme stepped into a perfectly circular clearing . Above her , the stars of Silverpelt seemed to shine more brightly . She stared at then , captivated by their exotic beauty .

A noise , like delicate paws stepping through the grass , brought her back down to earth . She snapped her head around to the source of the sound , cerulean eyes glaring into the darkness . A glimmering shape stepped out of the shadows , closely followed by another . Frosty pelted , with silver star shine in their fur , the two felines stood side by side . One was larger with broader shoulders and piercing olive eyes , while the other was smaller and slighter her gaze soft and blue . Resisting the urge to cry out in surprise , Dreamstar backed away a few steps . Though unfamiliar , both of these felines had the distinct scent of ThunderClan upon their pelts .

"It`s okay , Dreamstar ." The smaller cat , a silver coated femme mewed . Her voice had a soft and calming quality about it . "My name is Serewing . I was a Medicine Cat of ThunderClan in the golden ages of the Forest , back in the time of Illusionstar ." She dipped her head , and her voice grew slightly warmer . " I am kin ." She mewed simply .

The voice that issued from the olive irised tom was significantly colder and defiantly more arrogant , yet , for some strange reason , no less soothing . " Greetings , Dreamstar . My name is Cinerealfury . I was also a ThunderClan Medicine Cat , but now I hunt with StarClan ." He half turned away , his thick pale gray fur bristling , and gave her a weak scowl as if she had just replied , Well that`s obvious now , isn`t it .

Dreamstar allowed a curious expression to slide upon her face as she surveyed the two StarClan Medicine Cats . She allowed her eyes to stray back up to Silverpelt , as she put two and two together . Her gaze drifted back down again , and rested on each of the cats in turn , taking in their impressive appearances . Finally she spoke . "So .. so Serewing .. Cinerealfury .. you`re from StarClan . And .. an .." Her voice trailed off , and the confusion cleared from her head . "Am I dead ?"

Cinerealfury snorted . "Slow as a kit on catnip , I see . No wonder you`re in this mess ." He winced as Serewing cuffed him smoothly over the ear , and continued on . "Have you forgotten that you`re a Clan Leader , Dreamstar ? Well , I suppose that you could say you`re dead , but you`ll have another life to go back to , won`t you ?"

Dreamstar bristled , affronted at his comment . But it was at that moment that she knew what she had to do . She turned , instead , to Serewing , who had shown herself to be the kinder of the pair . "I can`t do this . I can`t stay a Clan leader . I have kits now , my care lies with them , and not the whole of ThunderClan . Is there a way .. is there any way this can work ?" Her mind was whirling , and she felt somewhat lightheaded as the words escaped her lips .

Serewing took a step closer to Dreamstar , her voice lowered and her eyes troubled . "Yes , Dreamstar .. yes , there is a way . But it will not be fun . StarClan has never had to preform this ceremony before ." She looked into Dreamstar`s mind , and seemed to enter into her very thoughts . "I know you`ve thought so much about this choice , and I want to warn you one last time of what you are about to do . You must realize that every decision you make presents a new and complicated set of consequences ."

Dreamstar blinked . Of course she had thought about what she was doing ! Her and Hiddenheart had been planning this for quite a while , yet she didn`t understand Serewing`s last phrase . "What do you mean ?" She inquired .

Pain and regret clouded Serewing`s light cerulean gaze . A silent plea for acceptance seemed to come off her in waves . "What you have to understand , is -"

You can`t simply surrender your remaining lives , and go on your merry way ! It`s just not right ! StarClan don`t work like that ." Cinerealfury interrupted , taking a step foreword himself . He glared at her for a moment before continuing . "It`s your own work , you know . What you`re doing . You`re basically exiling yourself ."

Dreamstar nodded , locking her icy blue gaze with his intense , olive one . "So I guessed right , then . I do have to leave ThunderClan forever ." She thought she had been prepared for this , she knew she could never stay , but Cinerealfury`s words made it fact . Fact that she would have to live with forever .

Serewing dipped her head , a gesture of genuine remorse . "I`m so sorry that it has to be this way .." Her gentle mew calmed Dreamstar slightly , though her heart still raced uncomfortably fast , dreading whatever was coming next .

"But you , Dreamstar , you`ve known all along ." Cinerealfury`s voice cut into her thoughts , allowing her to drift back down to reality . "You`ve broken the warrior code , and now you know what you must do ." She nodded her head slowly , regretfully . She was about to pay the price for demolishing the warrior code .

Serewing`s voice rang out across the clearing , strong and fair . "StarClan , I ask you to look down upon this Clan leader . She has lived her life in the ways of your noble code , and has served her clan well as leader for the past few moons . But as she wishes to surrender her remaining seven lives and her title and authority as Clan leader , I ask you to remove the lives that you gave to her , as she will no longer need them to care for and fight for her Clan ." The starry silver femme approached her , and she pressed her nose against Dreamstar`s .

Nothing in the world could have prepared her for the burst of white hot agony that pierced her straight to the core . It felt as if she was dying seven long , drawn out , painful deaths . Having seven strong lives ripped from her body , one at a time . As each life was torn from her , she heard the echoes of a scream of pain , cries of hurt and for help . Overcome by emotion and torment , Dreamstar writhed upon the ground , her claws pulling up the delicate , sweet smelling grass . And then it ebbed away , leaving her weak and shaking upon the ground . Fear wracked her body , and she willed with all her power that she would never have to experience such martyrdom again .

The smell of the pale gray tom surrounded her as he sniffed her flank , and helped her onto her shaky paws . She met his olive eyes as he began to speak , his voice softer than usual , without the arrogant tone . "Fellow spirits of StarClan , you know every cat by name . I ask you now to take away the name from the cat you see before you , for it no longer stands for what she is . By my authority as a feline of StarClan , and with the approval of my fellow warrior ancestors , I give this cat a new name . From this moment on , she will be known as Dreamfrost , for though she served ThunderClan as a leader for many moons , she has surrendered her remaining lives , and her authority as Clan leader ." Cinerealfury rested his muzzle on Dreamfrost`s head , and she stooped awkwardly to lick his shoulder .

Both StarClan cats were now watching her with sombre expressions . There was no congratulating or name cheering in this private ceremony . "You know what you must do , Dreamfrost ."Serewing mewed slowly . "As you already have a traveling companion , there is not much else to prepare , except to give your explanation to ThunderClan , and to Hailstorm ."

Cinerealfury frowned at the expression of horror that crossed Dreamfrost`s face at the mention of telling the truth to Hailstorm . "Do it , Dreamfrost . You owe him that , at least ." He instructed with a stern note to his voice .

Dreamfrost dipped her head rather reluctantly , before adding , "I`m sorry about Hiddenheart , it`s just -"

"Don`t worry about it ." Serewing cut in gently . "Hiddenheart is a great and talented Medicine Cat , but ThunderClan will be able to survive without her . Mottledwing knows everything that she needs to , she will make an excellent Medicine Cat for ThunderClan ." A purr rumbled in Serewing`s throat . "And you have four healthy kits , I will watch over them and walk with them wherever they may go while you are gone ."

Cinerealfury fixed her with his strong gaze once more . "So do not worry or woe . Your destiny lies along a different path for now . Just trust in StarClan that everything will work out in the end , and you will have nothing to fear ."

Dreamfrost nodded , for she understood what to do next . Curling up in the tall , cool grass , the silver femme allowed herself to drift back to the real world , and the chaotic blackness engulfed her once more .