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Post by keestaa.. on Mar 18, 2007 12:01:19 GMT -5
How could birds chirp on a dark dreary day like this? It was cold, windy and no sun could be seen in the sky. Just dark gray clouds. But the birds still chirped. It felt like it could rain any moment but still nothing had fell for almost all day. The grass swayed with the wind. It was long and golden and the hills seemed to stretch forever with the golden fields. Barely any trees could be seen for miles but did it matter. All Flik had ever wanted was to roam in the open. When he finally got it, he felt so lonely....
Anyway, in the grass between two of the larger hills sat a cat. He was large with short slick fur, a large head and gleaming yellow eyes. His mouth was splattered with blood and at his paws was a pour little rabbit. The large tom had one of his paws on the rabbit and his claws were covered with blood. He must of just caught the little animal. In the city where Flik was born, he ate trash and sometimes mice but never a rabbit. He finally bent over and dug his yellow fangs into the rabbits flesh and took a large bite out of the thing. He chewed slowly, savoring every bite. A grin crossed his face and he took several more bites until all that was left was the carcass.
After finishing the rabbit, the tabby tom padded onward across the plains. He didn't know where he was going or what he would find but he knew what he wanted to find. His sister, Brook. He loved her so much and needed to be with her. She was all he had left since his father and mother ran away together, leaving him to fend for himself in the city which was why he left and never came back. So now he padded alone, through the world but he wasn't afraid. He was just alone.... |
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Post by the day the world went away on Mar 25, 2007 17:13:36 GMT -5
Alone?
She was alone. Alone. It wasn't fun being alone. Especially not when the one thing you need the most is sanity and affection.
Curled up in a small hollow, a dark form twitched in her sleep. She mumbled and shifted, her eyes squinched closed. What was going on in her mind was the usual reoccurring nightmares -- it wasn't fun to be as emotionally insecure as she was. As a small whimper came from her clenched jaws, her widened eyes opened to meet the blurred glare of rain slashing down onto her dark pelt. The two orbs were of matching color, a dark teal shade. They contrasted with the dark, soft gray color of the rest of her pelt, with the thin black stripes lining down her flanks and sides. With her dark-crowned ears pricked, Cyanide pulled herself from the cramped position she was in and padded into the open, away from the shelter of the ferns that she called her home.
Why she made her home here, she didn't know. It was just outside the outskirts of Riverclan territory, with lush foliage and clear, laughing streams tucked into the picturesque land. Maybe it was because she felt tied to her home. After all, her parents had been exiled warriors, or so that one loner had told her...It was confusing. Her past was painful and twisted, so she ignored it. Denial was always a sure way out. But nobody ever promised that you could remain with your sanity and be in denial simultaneously.
Feeling cold..
Feeling empty..
I am loathed,
Unworthy. |
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Post by keestaa.. on Mar 25, 2007 17:55:24 GMT -5
Finally, liquid fell from the dark clouds and his the ground. The soft rain began to fall faster and faster until it was pouring rain. The pale tabby pelt of Flik was soon soaked and his fur stuck to his back. The water was also heavy for him to walk and soon he sat in the shelter of a fern bush. The thought of loneliness came back to him again as he sat in the pouring rain. He was chilled at the bone and he felt sick.
The rain didn't stop though. It rained even harder and Flik ended up making a small nest in the heart of the bush. The rain still came into the bush but he was protected from everything else. When the rain finally lightened up, he stood and stretched his cramped legs. He jumped out of the fern bush and that's when he saw her. She was standing near a fern bush not too far away but what caught his attention was her glowing teal eyes. They were by all means the prettiest eyes he had ever seen. He shook his pelt and quickly gave himself a groom before he took a step forward. "Ma'am,"he meowed politely as he took a few more steps toward her. He opened his mouth to talk to her but he wasn't even sure what to say so he stopped a few tail lengths away from her and waited for her to respond. |
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Post by the day the world went away on Mar 25, 2007 19:30:22 GMT -5
I'm half alive
but I feel mostly dead.
She turned around and stared in surprise. Near her was a pale tabby, a tom by the musky scent of him. Another sniff and Cy could tell that he wasn't a clan cat. "Hello," she greeted him in well-hidden astonishment. Just moments before, she had been alone. Or had she...? Who was this tom, anyway? What did he want? Was he just wandering? Did he smell her on the wind and decide to see who she was? ...Great. Now she was going into that paranoid mode. She mentally slapped herself and cleared her mind of thoughts. Now she could concentrate on figuring out who this tom was.
"May I ask of your name?" However shocked and skeptical of this tom she was, she kept her perfect articulation, each soft-spoken word pronounced clearly. She had somewhat of an accent; she didn't talk rudely like the rest of the cats, that was for sure. Maybe it was because of the isolation...maybe it was because she wasn't on the same page as all the other cats. She had always been different, and now she had earned the stereotype of being insane. Insanity was only a delusion, wasn't it? But, she had the sanity level to dream...wasn't that what insanity was? A dream? Wasn't it when you could fully understand what poets and dreamers could, when you forgot all traces of common sense of wrong and right? |
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Post by keestaa.. on Mar 25, 2007 19:47:39 GMT -5
The tom's yellow eyes glowed with interest as he watched the she-cat. She seemed to be deep in thought with eyes dancing with questions that she would ask herself in her mind. Talking to yourself outloud was what Flik normally did since he left the city. He talked to himsel all the time, telling himself that he was never alone. But doing that made him feel even more alone even though it was supposed to make you not feel alone. His eyes must've looked like they were deep in thought now because he was. He had never seen a she-cat, especially a rouge or loner or whatever she was, talk like that. Her tone was soft and almost comforting and welcoming. Her eyes were also amazing looking. The most bluest eyes he had ever seen.
Finally, he came back to his senses and opened his mouth to speak. "Flik,"he meowed in a awkward tone. It was then that he remembered where he was. In the pouring rain in the middle of no where in Flik's eyes. He shook his drenched tabby coat again and his hair stood up. The feeling of his fur leaving his back sent a shiver down his spine again. That was what he missed about the city. Sleeping with everyone. There were so many bodies of other cats to sleep with, to keep you warm. Now he felt as though he wanted to run up to the pretty she-cat and rub against her to keep warm. But soon that thought drifted from his mind. "Whats your name, my dear,"he asked politely but his voice was ever so shaky. |
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Post by the day the world went away on Mar 27, 2007 19:36:47 GMT -5
She jerked violently at the sound of his voice, teal eyes widening in surprise. What was wrong with me? I wanted company, didn't I? Why did this tom keep asking questions? "Cyanide," she answered quietly, her beryline eyes drifting back up to meet his pale amber orbs, blinking from under her silvery lashes. "My name is Cyanide."
She quickly dropped her gaze to her dark paws, feigning sudden interest in the small, neat way that her dark fur coalesced with lighter shades, suddenly very aware of their awkward tension. Why was this tom staring at her? He looked distracted, like he had his mind on something else. Hesitantly, timidly, she raised her eyes once more, parting her mouth to speak. "Is there something ailing you?"
I'm a dreamer,
With nothing left to dream...
Trying to tear a hole in the seam
Of reality... |
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Post by keestaa.. on Mar 27, 2007 20:09:19 GMT -5
Flik had wandered a long way from the city. It was a big city. The tom had been through several other cities in his journey and saw many things. Dogs, rats, people, cars, and so many other things. It was so different in the city. Lights, loud honks and screeches, laughter, gun shots here and there and of course cars. It was something you had to get used to in that place but out here it was dark, quiet, and lonely. He hated the loneliness in the wide and open. The dark was fine. He actually liked it better at night but quietness led to loneliness and it brought him to where he was now, standing in the pouring rain.
The first word that came to his mind was her name. It was so different. In the city, cats had short names that were easy to say and remember, like his name. Flik. Short and sweet. His sister was Brook. It was short as well. The whole time he had been thinking he had been staring, blankly at Cyanide. He felt extremely embarrassed. His mind had just been wandering away, far away from the conversation but now it was back at his heart was sinking by the second.He looked down at his paws and blinked the rain water from his eyes. He was going down... Down...
The second word that came to his mind was cold. He was cold. He wanted to speak but his mind was blank. He hadn't been with another cat for so long that he was so used to talking to himself. Talking to someone else was like a feeling that he had never felt before but he had felt it before. He might as well just talk to her and ignore her. With a deep sigh, he looked up at her with emotionless eyes. "Cold,"he mewed quietly and with the slightest bit of emotion that said, 'I not just cold but I'm lonely and I haven't seen a freaking live cat in about two moons." |
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Post by the day the world went away on Mar 31, 2007 13:30:40 GMT -5
The dark gray cat's saddened eyes caught the subtle emotion in Flik's pastel amber eyes, saw the intensity of his loneliness, observed the confusion, the hollow emptiness that always accompanied the feel of being alone. And what puzzled the complex cat was that she understood. She simply blinked to show her quiet reaction.
"Welcome to the life of a loner." She hadn't meant to sound cold, uncaring, but the usual monotone of her soft voice made it seem apathetic. "It's hard, usually the clan cats chase us out of their territory," she added quickly, trying to add emotion into her voice. The weak attempt failed. She sighed and let her gaze drift from his, trailing over the wet, muddy ground, observing how the cats' paws seemed to sink into the sloppy ground. She was abruptly hideously scared of this tom, suddenly horribly aware of how he seemed to be so much bigger than herself. After all, she was merely a she-cat -- not even full-size. She was a runt. The smallest. She always had been, and most likely always would be.
It frightened her even more how she remained calm. How she remained in the same spot, hiding her internal turbulent emotions with a serene mask on her face. Some called her insane. Some merely said she was misunderstood. None tried to help. |
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Post by keestaa.. on Apr 1, 2007 10:24:43 GMT -5
Slish slosh.
Mud. How much Flik hated mud and when his large tabby paws began to sink into it he closed his eyes and stuck out his tongue before lifting both of them and setting them on harder mud. In the city, you really didn't have to worry about mud unless you went to a park but Flik hated parks because he hated people and so did many of the the rogues in the band of cats.
Flik cocked his head to one side when he heard the word 'Clan'. It was a word he had never heard before and these cats seemed pretty dangerous if they chased helpless loners out of their territory. The large tabby was interested but something was wrrong with Cyanide. She seemed.... Scared? Why would she be scared. Was he scary?
The tom was taken back by the way she acted. But he managed to mew as quiet as possible so she could hear,"But it seems that there is something also ailing you." His low voice was soft but monotone. He didn't speak with emotion because he hadn't really spoken to anyone except himself. Flik was saddened and hurt as well by the way she acted. Flik would never hurt a she-cat. He was soft at heart around them. His eyes were filled with water that made it hard to see anything but he could see Cyanide and knew that he wasn't that cat that she wanted to see right now. |
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Post by the day the world went away on Apr 6, 2007 21:22:32 GMT -5
Her teal eyes softened slightly. "It's...nothing," she murmured after a long pause. Cyanide's saddened eyes flickered up to Flik's, making eye contact for a moment. She opened her jaws as if to say more, but closed them slowly after another hesitation. "I'm....sorry." She clenched her jaw, pulling back a corner of her mouth in pain, and stared at Flik from the awkward angle her head was set in, bent down so she was peering up at him through her lashes.
"I really am. I....I don't mean to be standoffish or cold. It's just...me. Forgive me." Her voice came out in a broken whisper, so hurt, so fragile. Cyanide felt torn. She felt guilty for being cruel, cold. She wanted to hurt someone in order to ease this pain of hers. Who was there to hurt? Only Flik...but she had just met this tom. She didn't even know him. If she hurt him with callous words, he could easily end her life with one blow of unsheathed claws to her skull. But...she wanted to. Either him, or herself. Myself.
She lifted her head, tensing herself up. "I'm just...lonely. Always lonely." Her beryl eyes met Flik's pale yellow ones, fiercely lonely in a way that threatened to rip your heart out. "I didn't mean to hurt you, if I did. I didn't mean to make you feel...unwelcome. It'd be nice to have a friend for once." |
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Post by keestaa.. on Apr 9, 2007 19:46:41 GMT -5
It had been so long since Flik had actually cried. The last him he had was when Brook was leaving with his mother. He cried for days, weeks even. His father finally said for him to suck it up and live. He did and never cried in front of his father after that. He didn't want to be a disappointment to him. But the water in his eyes wasn't rain. There were his tears but why was he crying? He wasn't that sad. Maybe it was the sight of Cyanide's sad eyes ripped his heart out and stabbed it several times.
By the time he was back in his own world all he wanted to do was comfort Cyanide. She looked hurt, fragile, scared. He had to show her that he wasn't scary. He shook his head, the tears from his eyes were gone and replaced my uncomfortable rain water. He let it go though. He didn't care anymore. "Don't worry,"he mewed quietly and a small smile appeared on his face. "I don't know why I wouldn't forgive you."
But then it was the sight of her lonely eyes that made him want to cry again. They were sad to look at. Whoops. There goes that knife again, just stabbing away... His smile, of course, left his face. He couldn't take taking just one step nearer, or would that scare her. Oh, was he frustrated with this now. He, finally, just took a step forward, leaned over and licked a drop of water trickling down her cheek. "Of course I'll be your friend,"he meowed, his voice just a bit more cheerful than it had been and his slight smile returned to his face. |
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Post by the day the world went away on May 15, 2007 16:34:43 GMT -5
The dark-toned cat shot him a meaningful glance, one that spoke of gratitude and slight relief; the quiet, appreciative look restrained the overwhelming misery that seemed to always inhabit her unusual dark teal eyes. Yet even with the thankful glint in her dark eyes, Cyanide didn't look quite right. She still looked irrevocably sad, a type of misery that didn't just fade over time or disappear with a smile and a promise of love. Even with a slight half-smile on her small, delicate face, the small tilting upward of lips draped across a shadowy muzzle oh so small and petite, she didn't look quite like the smile reached her teal eyes. It simply was that of what the emotionless definition of a smile was: an ascending curve of lips, a lie to make people think you were okay after all.
"Thank you...Thank you, Flik. I know I haven't been quite what you should call pleasant and cordial, but alas, it's simply who I might always be." Her quiet voice broke through the silence since he had spoken last, barely a whisper on the cold wind, breaking slightly. She was trying so hard, perhaps too hard, to make sure Flik didn't worry about her being depressed, being suicidal. It was bad enough she had lost her own mind. She didn't want him to lose his over concern.
"But now..I must be off. I have to eat too, you know," her quiet voice joked weakly, the sorry attempt at a joke falling flatly in the damp cold air. After another moment of silenced hesitation, Cyanide leaned forward and lightly pressed her small rose-gray nose into Flik's neck fur, then pulled away just as gently. "It was nice meeting you, Flik," she murmured, her dark teal eyes soft and sad once more, the gratitude still faintly there. "I sincerely and honestly hope we do meet again. Until that day." She dipped her head in a halfheartedly hopeful goodbye to her new and perhaps only friend, then rose fluidly to her small paws and turned, disappearing into the rainy shadows, the precipitation sluicing off her dark fur and collapsing onto the ground, making puddles.
Cyanide was reflected in one of these small oceans, barely visible in the darkness of the shadows, one dark paw gently lowering to press into the puddle, sending ripples fanning across the surface, breaking the mirror image of the saddened she-cat gazing down into one of the puddles, dark teal eyes still heartbreakingly sad, black-crowned ears flicked backward.
Chilling rain..
Like an ocean..
Everywhere. |
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Post by keestaa.. on May 15, 2007 17:01:40 GMT -5
/don`t/leave/
Smiles didn`t say anything to Flik. They could be real or they could be clouding sadness, lying, anger or any emotion. His mother had always smiled at his father but deep down, she hated him with all her heart. His father always smiled at him when he was proud but did he really mean the smile? Flik never knew and that was the part that really got him. He would never know if Cyanide really meant her little smile but it did send a bullet through his heart when he realized she was smiling to clear up her sadness. Flik said nothing about this. He wanted to know, just because of his natural curiosity bit he said nothing about it. Though he was happy that she was grateful for his kindness. The large tom had always been kind to she-cats, especially those that had been kind to him. When, suddenly, her voice broken through the silence he almost jumped in shock but her voice was so soft and sweet. He was so overwhelmed with the water filling his eyes and his paws sinking in the mud, that he had really no time to respond before he found out that she was leaving now.
/me/here/
Flik`s bright yellow eyes were finally drained of water and he found himself staring at her as she leaned over and pressed her petite muzzle against his neck. The feeling sent a tingle down his spine and he looked up at her, meeting her eye but he looked down, his eyes clouded with sadness. The rain was lighting up and he could see a little bit farther now but there was still a drizzle that landed on his cheeks, looking like he was crying. He watched her leave. His tongue was so twisted up with so many emotions that he couldn`t speak to her. If he said a word, he would croak and maybe even cry. He watched her disappear into the shadows and when she was gone, he plopped his butt in the mud and sat there. In the rain. Alone. Forever. But then a thought suddenly came to his mind. He could follow her. Maybe. Maybe it would work. Where was she going? He had no idea but it was worth a shot and he wanted to be with her so badly that it hurt his heart to think over her teal eyes staring into his yellow ones. So he stood and padded off into the darkness, searching for love but he was making a trip that would risk his life. If only he knew…
/alone/ |
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