. [ if i closed my / EYES ]

[untilthis.echo]

[r e b i r t h i n g . n o w ; i . l i e . h e r e . p a r a l y t i c]

[t.h.e. w.o.r.s.t. i.s. t.h.e. w.a.i.t.i.n.g]

[d.r.i.f.t]

Heat. Unbearable heat was the first thing he felt. There had been warmth before, incredible and soothing warmth. He hadn't wanted to leave. And then a rushing feeling of vertigo gripped his body and he was suddenly stripped of that comfortable warmth. There was an aching feeling of sudden cold and freshness, his nose twitching and his eyes shut tightly as he was pushed into the living. And then there was that unbearable heat. It pulsated beside him, hot and heavy and breathing. He squirmed by its side, paws barely lifting from the dewy grass. If he could have, he would have groaned at the wet feeling surrounding him, mixed with ice and heat. Everything burned with discomfort.

The tiny newborn could only whimper, slowly moving his diminutive cranium about with tightly shut ears. Where was he? He mewed softly, dipping his head into his wet paws and inching toward the breathing form beside him. Shivering in the brisk air of the living, he sought to find a single shred of reassurance.

Heat. Unbearable heat surrounded him. Fear settled in.

[dream.]

[ m o t t l e d paw ♥ thunder c l a n ]

This moment contained mixed feelings . The feel of her breath heaving in her chest , drying out her throat and filling her lungs . The feeling of tense excitement , making her paws tingle magically , as a tiny shiver ran through her fur , causing her tail to flick spastically . The feel of calm before the raging storm , knowing that her abilities were sharp . But the feeling that dominated all , was the underlying feel of dread . Cold , sharp fear burned in her chest as she thought of her weakening leader . Mottledpaw knew all her herbs , she knew how to mix poultices and balms for wounds , but what if something went wrong ?? The harder she tried to push the thought from her head , the more that the disturbing images of her leader in severe suffering etched themselves into her mind .

Pushing her paws harder into the ground and narrowing her eyes to slits , Mottledpaw shook the image of her leader , crumpled on the ground whimpering and trembling , out of her head . "I g - gave her juniper berries and thyme j - just before I left to g - get you ." Mottledpaw huffed , her voice directed at her mentor , Hiddenheart whom she traveled with . She was surprised to discover that her voice only shook from breathlessness , not fear . Mottledpaw started to recognise her surroundings from the patrol . Anticipation clenched at her belly like icy claws . The noise level was rising , though they could not make out who was speaking , or what they were saying .

Skidding around a clump of fern and into the scene , Mottledpaw let out a gasp . Running to Dreamstar`s side , she noticed a limp , writhing shape next to her . Cursing her lack of swiftness , Mottledpaw pressed her nose against the new life form`s flank . She could feel shallow breath radiating life from it . But it was far too cold . Without moving the kit from it`s mothers side , Mottledpaw bent down , rasping her tongue along it`s wet fur in the wrong direction to help warm and dry it .
One down , how many to go ??

[&& . frozen [ once | again ]]

H i d d e n h e a r t -- M e d i c i n e C a t

W H Y W A S T E T H I S M O M E N T _________________ ♥

Hiddenheart raced along behind Mottledpaw, her heart beating. She was nervous yet excited. She had helped many births, all so glorious as the next. And this was for her leader; for her leader's kits. Yet her whole body shook with sadness. It was time. Time to leave her life behind her and follow her leader. She knew it was almost that time. Bounding behind Mottledpaw, she noticed her body slightly quivering. She tasted mixed feelings coming off her apprentice's body, and Hiddenheart slightly felt sorry for her. She would have to take care of the clan, although she wasn't fully trained. She would have to pronounce Mottledpaw a full medicine cat, without going to see their ancestors.

"I g - gave her juniper berries and thyme j - just before I left to g - get you ." Hiddenheart nodded, breath coming out of her very quickly. Soon they turned a bend and in front of them was Dreamstar. The feline stopped and gasped at her leader. Once strong and beautiful, she was turned into a pregnant queen, screaming in pain at kitting. Mottledpaw separated herself from Hiddenheart and padded to a kit, licking its fur. Padding over, Hiddenheart set down her herbs and looked around. There were some cobwebs, which she grabbed with her tail. Placing the cobwebs on the ground, she grabbed a few and placed them over the kit’s body to wipe away the blood.

“Quick, Mottledpaw. Place the remaining cobwebs over Dreamstar’s belly to stop any blood from escaping. Also rub her belly with Dock leaves to help the kittens slip out easier,” the calico mewed, and grabbed some Poppy seeds. She placed them near Dreamstar. “Eat these only if the pain increases Dreamstar. Otherwise leave them,” she meowed softly to her leader. Glancing up, Hiddenheart turned to Eternalfault. “Go get some moss and dip it in water. Then place it by her mouth so she doesn’t get dehydrated,” the medicine cat meowed. The femme padded over to Dreamstar and placed her paws on the she-cat’s belly. She slowly pushed down, helping the feline in kitting.

Please stay alive Dreamstar!

--------------------------------------------------------

[dream.]

[ t h y m e kit ♥ thunder c l a n ]

This was something that he couldn`t explain . Like a concept that couldn`t be grasped , or an idea that couldn`t be put into words . It just happened . The world just began . He was far from understanding it , and even farther from wanting to . Like one of those damn sudoku puzzles .But the world had begun for him , and there was nothing he could do about it . But as he was thrusted into open air , into life , unwillingly by invisible forces , he found that he could feel . Feel such things as hot and cold . Hard and soft . But he didn`t dwell upon it , he was too agonized by the chill that gripped him as a wind swept over his slicked wet fur . Writhing madly upon the ground , a new sensation came over him . The desire for oxygen . Like a suffocating being , struggling for breath , his lungs burst open . Oh how they seared and scorched . Painful as it was , his head cleared a little bit . Coughing and sputtering , he attempted to clear his lungs . His lungs burned as crisp , fresh air filled them for the first time . The feeling was uncontrollable , and he whimpered and writhed more . When the moment came that he could no longer stand it , he let out a squeaky yowl , and fell limp upon the cold hard ground , shivering meekly . Far from heat , far from comfort . He writhed and rolled and squealed , looking for something , anything to comfort him . This was agony . The world closed in upon him . He was alone . Lost . Left to die in this murderous jungle of chaos . Chaos caused by scents and feelings .
And the intensified pounding of his own heart in his heaving chest ..

the world we know won`t come back

[l.ast of the [wild]s]

:Scorchkit

| ...wondering | why | the | world | has | passed | him | by... |

A rush filled him, spreading through his body like water. He felt his entire body freeze for a moment before vertigo claimed and he was pulled down, down into the deep recess of life. He felt the rough surface jab at his wet form, causing a sharp feeling to pierce him. Pain? No. Life.

He was alive. Gone was the sweet warmth of his haven. This world was cold and wet and foreign. The heat of his mother's womb was replaced by the sharp tang of air. He opened his mouth to give the air a taste. Something flowed from the chilly air and down his throat, causing his tiny lungs to constrict and start. Air. Air for the living. Oxygen.

He gave a silent gasp, his tiny paws scuffling in the dewy grass. The tiny kit urged himself forward, trying to find a place of warmth. A shiver went down his matted fur as heated radiated from another form, larger. Twitching, he pushed himself forward, feeling the ground, the world, move under his paws. Pressing himself to the heaving figure, the little tom felt the feline's warm fur engulf him. Shuddering heavily, he lifted his head and nudged a bit, drawing energy from the familiar heat. His home. His haven. His...

...Mother.

[the day the world went away]

S W I R L kit_____________

f a t e s e e m s t o r e c r e a t e ,
i j u s t c a n n o t e s c a p e . . .

Only moments before, there had been warmth. Three warm bodies almost exactly the same as hers right beside her when suddenly they'd gone. Disappeared. Just like that. Then, by some persistent unseen force, she was gone, too.

How she was gone she didn't know, but she was greeted coldly. Her limp, weak form was met with the hard ground and almost immediately fits of shivers broke out across her moist body as the bitter wind swooped in and settled around her small frame, chilling her already. In a desperate attempt to protest, her small jaws opened feebly and her instincts kicked in, directing her lungs to inhale and precious oxygen flooded through. Her head swam with overflowing scents and the glorious way her lungs expanded and contracted furiously, whipping oxygen into her body swiftly, steadily. Another scatter of shudders shook their way through her and a gentle warmth seeped through the air, calling. Mother. Small, soaked paws flailed against the hard ground and weakly the kit urged herself forward, paws scrabbling as she dragged herself toward the source of warmth.

And then, with another shiver, halfway to her protector, the kit collapsed. Already lowered legs gave up and the tiny, exhausted newborn made the first decision of many identical decisions in the future: she gave up. Small jaws closing from their silent gape, paws stopping their weak, frantic scrabble, the kit simply lay there, her sides heaving furiously in hyperventilation. Cold wrapped her in its lethal arms and gently tried to rock her to sleep: a fatal sleep that one never woke from, the eternal sleep. Limbs soon becoming too stiff to move, the kit began to drift off into that eternal slumber when a small voice in her mind spoke up. No. Wake up. Wake up.. As one last attempt to make herself be known, the kit tiredly opened her jaws once more and let out a raspy mew; her small, cold, wet body trembled and stiffened with the effort. Her lungs still worked frantically, hyperventilation affecting the small body and death beckoned, reaching out its cold fingers to stroke gently at the kit's side. Come with me, little one. No more cold. Her breathing quickened as cold settled in her bones and one last desperate mew burst from her throat as a plea to be rescued.

[dream.]

[ m o t t l e d paw ♥ thunder c l a n ]

Fresh panic flushed through her , chilling her deeper than just the roots of her fur . Orange orbs widened , pupils dilated , she was unsure what to do now . Mottledpaw had completed Hiddenheart`s instructions , but now that the kits were born , she was unsure who`s aid to rush to first . The first , and largest kit to be born no longer needed aide . He lay , nestled beside his mother , his sorrel and snowy patched fur dried , and fluffed up a bit against the new and foreign chilled winds . His eyes were squeezed tightly shut , and his ears were flattened against his head . These were the first kits that ThunderClan had seen in a while , Mottledpaw had almost forgotten how tiny they could be .

The second kit to be born didn`t look a thing like his brother . His coat was mottled with autumn and dusty browns , and he had ebony black bengal spots dotted here and there . With a jolt of panic , Mottledpaw realized that the small kit was worming his way away from his mother , letting out frightened squeaks of agitation . Diving , she gently picked up the small feline by his scruff , and set him down in his proper place . She began to groom his fur in the same fashion as she had groomed his older brothers , it dried and fluffed out quickly . She watched warmly as he nestled himself closer to Dreamstar , before turning away .

The third Kitten appeared as a copy of the eldest . He had the same mottled brown and creamy patched fur . Though this kit wasn`t quite as big as his older brother , he was still bigger than his bengal brother . The tiny kit was inching toward his mother , but Dreamstar made no attempts to clean him . In fact , Their leader didn`t appear to notice that yet another tiny life form had joined at her side . Mottledpaw hurried toward him , pressing her nose into his sleek wet flank . His breathing was good and strong . She began to groom his fur the wrong way , drying it . Breathing in his warm , fresh kit scent , Mottledpaw backed away and looked around . Something wasn`t right , wasn`t there four kits ?? Where was the last one ?? Whipping her head around wildly , and what she saw alarmed her .

A tiny kit , the smallest of the litter , had collapsed some ways away from Dreamstar . The kit had plain white fur , it had a transparent vitreous quality about it . It lay there , and before she could make any rescue attempts , the small feline let out a rather loud , frantic , squeaky mew . Mottledpaw rushed to it`s side , where it lay trembling on the cold , hard ground . Too rushed to move the young cat Mottledpaw crouched where she was , and licked it`s chest , trying to help it breathe . Inhaling the air , Mottledpaw could tell that this was a she - kit , the only one of the litter . Eyes shut tight and ears folded down , the kit had looked rather piteous with her fur slicked down . Picking her up gently by the scruff of her neck , Mottledpaw carried her gingerly over to her siblings , and set her down tenderly beside them .

Before she ran off to Hiddenheart again to see what she could do to help , Mottledpaw examined the new family . A new troubled thought formed in her mind ..
None of these kits looked anything like Dreamstar ..
.. or Hailstorm .

[untilthis.echo]

[o v e r . m y . h e a d ; c o m p l e t e l y . m i s r e a d]

[i'.m. t.o.o. a.w.a.k.e. f.o.r. t.h.i.s. t.o. b.e. a. n.i.g.h.t.m.a.r.e]

[e.c.h.o]

Everything was going all wrong. The kits were not supposed to be born like this, in such despair and pain. They lay sprawled, each bursting into the living world in pain and despair and weakly crying for comfort. The bengal leader could only stare in horror at each of the kits, his kits. They were so small and fragile, scarcely breathing in the brisk air. With eyes shut tight and ears pinned to their diminutive skulls, they crawled about in search of warmth. A small mottled femme had surged forward and taken care of the kits, licking each of them desperately before laying them by Dreamstar's side. The achromatic leader was still flopped upon her side, shallowly breathing with glazed azure eyes. She didn't seem at all aware of the newborns laying beside her, nuzzling into her fur. The autumn tom felt a tear ripping agonizingly into his heart.

Cautiously, an alabaster paw stepped forward, quickly followed by an autumn one. Each step the tom took dilated the tear in his heart. His gold-green eyes watered as he sank to the ground by the leader. Why wasn't she responding like most mothers? Why wasn't Dreamstar paying attention to the kits? Mortification and dread filled his soul, shook it and pulled sorrow from it. He tried to refrain from shrilly crying in despair, nuscles trembling from the urge. Dreamstar needed him. These kits needed him. Breathing shakily, he cast the litter an anxious gaze.

The mottled femme who'd been examining the kits before was staring at them, worry clouding her eyes. Unease seemed to air about her and Echostar suddenly realized that she was gazing more at the kits' coats then anything else. Rising quickly to his paws, he padded over and shoved her away slightly, setting his own sharp eyes on the kits. They seemed alright, seemed normal now after their pitiful entrance into life. So why was she staring at them? And then his stomach dropped. The kits resembled him more than anyone else, save for the single porcelain female. He backed off, paws shuffling nervously.

He wasn't supposed to be here, no one was supposed to know. Realizing that he'd shown far too much anxiety and care for the family, he looked about suspiciously. They were sure to notice. The ebony tom who'd been with Dreamstar before was supposed to be the 'father'. If he had the heart, Echostar would have fled the scene as quickly as he came. Yet his heart and soul were chained to Dreamstar and the kits. With a soft and shuddering voice, trying to feign indifference yet care; he rasped, "A-Are they alright? I-I heard a scream and came to investigate. Are the kits safe? Starclan knows that no cat would want such a tragedy as the death of a kit and mother."

He was burying himself deeper in lies.

[&& . frozen [ once | again ]]

H i d d e n h e a r t -- M e d i c i n e C a t

W H Y W A S T E T H I S M O M E N T _________________ ♥

Three, no, four kits were soon born from Dreamstar. The calico's eyes glowed with happiness, the warmth a mother may show her new born kits. But something was wrong, deadly wrong. A whisper floated on the wind, and Hiddenheart's ears pricked. The lies you've told, the lies you live. You shall no longer be Dreamstar, these lives we have ... Then it was silent. A cold shiver passed through the female and she looked at the kits. Their pitiful mews did not rouse their mother, and their coats didn't blend in with hers. As Echostar approached, she turned to him. The bengal tom had worry in his eyes, and a feeling of sadness crept from his pelt. "A-Are they alright? I-I heard a scream and came to investigate. Are the kits safe? StarClan knows that no cat would want such a tragedy as the death of a kit and mother." The medicine cat turned back to the kits, and suddenly it hit her.

Their pelts were the same color as their father's, Echostar. Looking at the other cats, she realized they probably didn't notice it. Medicine Cats were tuned to nature, closer than other cats. Sometimes they can sense things other cats cannot. Turning to her apprentice, Hiddenheart padded up to Mottledpaw and crouched down, eye level with the female. How would she ever break the news?

"Mottledpaw, I... I made a promise with Dreamstar, and now it's time to fulfill it. Mottledpaw, is it your wish to enter into the mysteries of StarClan as a medicine cat?" When she answered Hiddenheart continued. "Warriors of StarClan, I present to you this apprentice. She has chosen the life of medicine cat. Grant her your wisdom and insight so that she may understand your ways and heal her Clan in accordance to your will. By the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Mottledpaw, from this moment you will be known as Mottledwing. StarClan honors your courage and your spirit, and we welcome you as a full medicine cat of ThunderClan," Hiddenheart touched her nose with her apprentice's, for the last time...

Shaking the thought away, she raced over to the kits and wrapped her tail around them. She pushed them closer to Dreamstar so they could suckle. "Mottledwing, what do they need right now?" Hiddenheart asked, glancing at the new medicine cat. Her eyes were full of sorrow, yet no regret. Mottledwing wouldn't have any trouble taking care of the clan.

--------------------------------------------------------

[the day the world went away]

E T E R N A L f a u l t__________

c a n y o u w a k e m e u p ?
w a k e m e u p b e f o r e i t ' s o v e r . . .

Calamity. Sheer calamity described the scene; the air tasted strongly of the panicky combination of fear, confusion, alarm, and sorrow. These feelings and their effect on the individual cats overwhelmed Eternalfault, the dark copper tabby obediently feeding the Thunderclan leader the small bundle of herbs Mottledpaw had shoved at him -- everything was passing by so quickly, and he was afraid to blink lest he miss something significant. One by one the kits seemed to appear out of thin air and one by one they got their first impression of the world as each moved their own way. Cold, unforgiving wind was tucking its deadly fingers around each of the wet, incredibly small bodies, the air's suffocating frigidity infinitesimally decreasing the survival rates of the kits.

Panic constricted the airways he needed to breathe and speak with; his paws jerked forward when he saw how much some of the kits were struggling. His mind dimly registered a dark dappled blur hurrying toward each of them and depositing them right beside their mother, and the dark tabby relaxed when he realized what had happened. Relief flooded his lithe body; all was well, right? As he turned to voice his relief to the others, saddened and worried expressions stopped the words from ever forming in his mouth.

"A-Are they alright? I-I heard a scream and came to investigate. Are the kits safe? Starclan knows that no cat would want such a tragedy as the death of a kit and mother." Echostar, the Windclan leader, looked both terrified and concerned. Eternalfault regarded him with sympathy and he was about to murmur words of comfort but something stopped him; there was something hidden in the autumn bengal's green-gold orbs. Instead of questioning or offering words of solace, the dark copper tabby turned away from the other tom and instead looked at the kits, admiring. Such small little creatures they were..their different-hued pelts stood out from each others' and their mother's. Funny, Eternal thought. None have silver pelts like their mother's... Although it was an intriguing thought, he made no attempt at linking the overlooked puzzle pieces. He shrugged the curiosity away and decided it was of no significance; the only thing that mattered as of right now were the kits' health and the mother's health. All else could wait...

His thoughts became bemused and troubled once more as he set ocher orbs upon the Windclan leader again; something clicked in his mind but he ignored it, instead observing the bengal tom. As the dark tabby's amber eyes flickered back to the kits, he realized what he had unconsciously put together. The second-born kit resembles Echostar...in fact, none of them showed traits of Hailstorm, who was their supposed father..Was this mere coincidence, or was something deeper lurking beneath the surface?

He kept his mouth closed, keeping a secret he was just unraveling.

[M A t t.]

h a i l s t o r m - t c
Alarm pulsed through his veins, and his very blood seemed to turn to ice. He was frozen with shock. So much seemed to be happening at once. Dreamstar... He thought, taking the scene in slowly. Dreamstar... the kits... The large dark tom blinked his bright apple green irises. My kits. And then it really hit him.
The broad shouldered smoky black tom had been sitting at an awkward angle, mouth opened slightly, a lost expression upon his face. He had watched, transfixed, as the kits, his kits, were born, and reunited with their mother. Blinking once more, Hailstorm shifted onto his paws. His legs were shaky, and his tail trembled slightly. In fact, he felt quite sickly, like he had just recovered from a bad illness. He took a step nearer. And another, until he was close enough to touch each newborn kitten with his dark, triangular nose. He breathed in each of their scents, warm, yet fresh.
The appearance of each of them was rather surprising, though. Not one of them looked anything like Dreamstar. ...Or me. The nagging thought grew as he took in the appearance of each kit. The largest was a patchy brown and white tom. He had an twin, smaller, but with identical markings. Hailstorm's confusion grew. Neither him nor Dreamstar had patches. The third kit's appearance was even more alarmingly different. The small felines mottled brown toned fur and black Bengal markings looked dauntingly familiar. Bengal? Neither him nor his mate had mottled brown coats. And the Bengal markings? How could two forest pelted plain coated felines produce a Bengal kitten? The more the dark tom considered this, the less possible it seemed. His eyes trailed off to the last of his kits, a fragile white femme. He blinked his eyes. Half of him hoping the image would change. But the same little blank she-kit lay at his paws. Neither Dreamstar nor him had a speck of white upon them.
A dark thought crossed the back of hos mind, but he pushed it away semi-consciously. But it wouldn't go. The longer he stood there, looking at the newborn litter, the more the thought etched itself into his head. Even though this thought had not presented itself to him yet as an idea, it stayed. Preparing to burst forth as he stared at the four kittens.
This thought, this idea...
This was the truth.


Are these even my kits?

[dream.]

[ m o t t l e d wing ♥ thunder c l a n ]

"Mottledpaw, I... I made a promise with Dreamstar, and now it's time to fulfill it. Mottledpaw, is it your wish to enter into the mysteries of StarClan as a medicine cat?" It took the dapple coated femme a few moments to process what her mentor was saying to her . And when she did , it hit her hard . "Hu .. what ! ?" Orange irises widened in shock , Mottledpaw jumped to her paws . "Oh , um .. I mean .. y - yes , Hiddenheart . But what`s going .. why are you .. ?" Her mentor ignored the rest of her protests and interrogations , and continued on with the ceremony . "Warriors of StarClan, I present to you this apprentice. She has chosen the life of medicine cat. Grant her your wisdom and insight so that she may understand your ways and heal her Clan in accordance to your will. By the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Mottledpaw, from this moment you will be known as Mottledwing. StarClan honors your courage and your spirit, and we welcome you as a full medicine cat of ThunderClan," The newly named Medicine Cat touched noses with her mentor , allowing a curious expression to slide upon her face .

Closing her eyes briefly so her thoughts could organize themselves in her confused mind , Mottledwing wondered what Hiddenheart was doing . Why was she getting a warrior ceremony now ? It made no sense . Where did Hiddenheart think she was going ? The question of what the kits were in need of now snapped her out of her private thoughts . "Well .. some coltsfoot would be good to help the kits breathe easier , but that`s probably all they should have , being so young . And Dreamstar should probably have some borage , and some thyme to calm her down ."
Mottledwing blinked , wondering if she had the right answer . Narrowing her eyes , she added to Hiddenheart , "So , are you going to enlighten me about what`s going on here ?"

Mottledwing looked away for a moment , and her eye caught something unusual . At first glance , Dreamstar looked like she was resting . But there was an un - natural stillness about her awkward body position . Padding a few steps closer , unsure of what she was seeing , Mottledpaw bent her head close to the silver femme , and she knew it was true .
Dreamstar wasn`t breathing .

"Hiddenheart !" Mottledwing called . "I think she`s .. she`s losing a life ."

[&& . frozen [ once | again ]]

H i d d e n h e a r t -- M e d i c i n e C a t

W H Y W A S T E T H I S M O M E N T _________________ ♥

"Hu .. what ! ? "Oh , um .. I mean .. y - yes , Hiddenheart . But what`s going .. why are you .. ? Well .. some coltsfoot would be good to help the kits breathe easier , but that`s probably all they should have , being so young . And Dreamstar should probably have some borage , and some thyme to calm her down . So , are you going to enlighten me about what`s going on here ?" Hiddenheart breathed through her maw slowly and closed her eyes. Perhaps it was time that Mottledwing knew what was happening. Suddenly the medicine cat's voice rang out and made Hiddenheart jump. "Hiddenheart ! I think she`s .. she`s losing a life ." Hiddenheart padded up to the silver feline, her eyes growing dull and sad. She silently shook her head.

"Mottledwing, she isn't losing a life. She's losing all of them. I'll be leaving ThunderClan to go with her. We will no longer serve ThunderClan. We will become loners..." She trailed off and looked at the other cats, her eyes searching their faces. Her voice was loud enough for them all to hear, and she realized it was for the best that they knew. Your new name will be Dreamfrost... The whispers of StarClan once again rang in her ears, and the calico sat down. She knew what was happening now.

My name is no loner Hiddenheart, and my title is no longer a Medicine Cat. No, my new name is Hidden, and I am a loner. Looking up, the femme padded over to Dreamstar and placed her muzzle on the silver feline's shoulder. She closed her eyes, and crouched beside her. It was time. Time for them to leave their past behind, and journey out into a new life.

--------------------------------------------------------

[untilthis.echo]

[f.e.a.r. i.s. h.o.w. i. f.a.l.l]

[e.c.h.o]

There was anxiety everywhere.

Every feline had such a slow horrified face as they took in each of the new kits. There was something morphing in each of their depths, as if realization was dawning on them. He could only stand there and gaze helplessly, cranium dipped and ears drooping. His claws unsheathed nervously and drew grooves in the ground. Did they know? Could they see it? His breath was beginning to come in shallow gasps and he fought the urge to flee. Flee! His mind cried to him but his heart was far too weak to give into it. He had to stay for the kits. He had to stay for Dreamstar.

The she-cat, whom he now recognized as Hiddenheart the medicine cat of Thunderclan was speaking in low tones to her apprentice. Mottledpaw was the name he caught on their soft breaths. Confusion swelled in his gold-green pools as the calico began a ceremony. Why was she naming her apprentice now? Why was she speaking in solemn tones about a journey she and Dreamstar had to take? His anxiety began to freeze every vein filled with blood and the fur along his spine bristled. What was going on?!

Echostar gazed over at the two cats, one he recognized as Thunderclan's deputy, Hailstorm, and the other a copper tom with luminous auric orbs. Both held nearly the same gaze. The truth was slowly unraveling in their minds and doubt was making its way through their souls, shattering the lie. The bengal feline stepped back fearfully. If there was a time to run, he had to do it now before he was forced to answer any questions. However, before he could take a step away from the small group of cats, Hiddenheart's words caught him again.

She and Dreamstar were leaving.

No...No...No no no no! NO! She can't be leaving! She can't! A choked sob clogged in his throat and he whipped his skull about. A mortified expression darkened his pallid gaze and his shoulders quaked horribly. Spasms threatened to grip his own body as despair rose in his blackened mind. Shaking his head in denial, gaze heavy and clouded, he shrilly cried, "LEAVING?! LEAVING WHERE?! DREAMSTAR CAN'T LEAVE! SHE HAS KITS TO LOOK AFTER FOR STARCLAN'S SAKE!"

This wasn't part of the plan. This wasn't supposed to happen! She wasn't supposed to leave her kits behind. She wasn't supposed to leave him behind. Gradually, he began to see. He'd just been a ploy, a fool left in the dark to what was really occurring. Dreamstar had told him nothing about leaving. She'd kept it to herself save for Hiddenheart. So this is a real truth...you're going to take the coward's way out and leave the Clans...leave me behind...all because you couldn't stand the brunt of your shame...our shame and secret.

The first shackles of his mind began to unlock.

Loathing, unbridled loathing settled in.

[the day the world went away]

E T E R N A L f a u l t__________

i see through your lies...
they're bleeding from your eyes...

"LEAVING?! LEAVING WHERE?! DREAMSTAR CAN'T LEAVE! SHE HAS KITS TO LOOK AFTER FOR STARCLAN'S SAKE!" The outraged, high-pitched voice tugged Eternalfault out of his troubled reverie, and the dark copper tabby turned to the source of noise. The Windclanner was the one who was objecting, and as the words the autumn bengal burst out with set into the dark tabby, it became apparent why the leader cried out in plaintive mortification. "Dreamstar is leaving?! B-But she cannot! Why must she leave?!" Eternal's own soprano voice joined in with the protest as his ocher orbs widened. Small creamy paws stumbled forward, made their way next to Echostar, and the dark copper tabby turned to the Windclan tom, jaws partly open as if to speak, his shocked amber eyes searching the autumn bengal's face as if demanding an answer.

Slowly his finely chiseled head turned back to the kits and their mother, to the two crouched she-cats beside the leader's silver body. More words tore from his gaping jaws, this time whispers; they were directed more to himself than anyone else. "Wh-Where could she honestly go...? Why would she leave, when she has just had four healthy kits that depend on her? This is so...wrong." Ocher orbs recovered from shock and returned to troubled despondency, casting their sad warmth over the kits nestled beside a still body, over two she-cats whispering in low tones, over the stunned, doubtful deputy still nearby, over the Windclan leader standing beside him. Shock, misery and outrage were abundant in the air, laying a suffocating blanket over the lungs of all felines; this feeling would not be shaken off. It would remain.

Again the doubt filled his mind as Eternal's golden eyes scanned over the small kits once more. These kits and Hailstorm aren't alike, he pondered, lines of worry etching his expression. Aloud he murmured to himself, "In fact...." His ocher eyes wandered over to the autumn bengal beside him. Yes, it did seem that this leader looked like the kits...but how could this be? The whole clan, save a few select cats, believed that Hailstorm was the father and mate of Dreamstar...could this all be a lie? If it was, what other things were lies as well? Eternalfault's heart beat a staccato rhythm against his ribcage, the loud, frenzied palpitations reverberating in his ears; it was so loud he was sure the others could hear. He struggled to keep his exterior calm although inside he was chaos, paralyzed from the paranoid fear that everything was, in fact, a lie.

Unconsciously his long claws sank into the submissive ground, like anchors straining to keep him securely tethered to the earth, as if trying to smother the idea that he'd unfurl a massive pair of wings and attempt at swooping into the sky for escape. Eternalfault's smooth feline frame tensed and his golden eyes were troubled and held a tiny speck of fear, one that was hard to find within the depths of the auric oceans. Again and again the thought repeated itself in his mind.

Is this all a lie?