.[ & i ` m ]-GONE / f o r "GOOD"♥;

[dream.]

[ d r e a m frost ♥ thunder c l a n ]

The sun from the twilight sky glinted on the horizon , a deep , yet bright yellow against the fading sunset palette . The first stars of Silverpelt were appearing , shedding their radiance down upon ThunderClan`s rock enclosed Camp . The high skies were deep indigo blue , and they seemed to be getting darker by the moment . The grasses that floored the hallowed out quarry that she called home were a aphotic , yet fresh green , cool and comforting underpaw . An inviting breeze played around the cinereal she - cat`s whiskers , warmer now that the misty clouds from earlier today had cleared off .

The silvery femme`s sere shaded paws dragged heavily on the ground as she made her way briefly from her den in the side of the rocky wall next to the Highledge , to the front of the ridge . The argent queens posture accented her discomfort and hesitance , and her tail swished insecurely . Her ears twisted unsurely as she turned her head slowly to take in the full of her Camp . Torment swirled in her mind , and she struggled not to let her pain show on her face . This day was never supposed to come . It was her grand goodbye , but before she left .. there were things that the sterling she - cat had to do first . Taking a deep , shaky breath , the she cat set her shoulders , and called out to her Clanmates . "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey join beneath the Highledge for a Clan meeting !"

There was no turning back now . Dreamfrost knew that however much she could pretend , this pain from leaving her clan , her life , all that she had ever known , it would never fade . Her kittens were old enough to rely on a foster mother now , and she was free to leave her Clan . Now was her last chance to pass on some final messages . She needed to explain to the clan what was going on , to find a foster mother for her kits , and to convince the Clan that Hailstorm was their new leader . She wondered if Hailstorm would do as she asked , and what would happen to ThunderClan if he didn`t . But the one thing she was certain of , was that one day , she would come back .[/color][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[&& . frozen [ once | again ]]

F r o z e n t e a r s -- W a r r i o r

W H Y W A S T E T H I S M O M E N T _________________ ♥

She was dreaming. The white feline was dreaming when Dreamfrost's voice echoed across the clearing. "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey join beneath the Highledge for a Clan meeting !" Frozentears flicked her ears irritably and stood up. Dream wasn't her leader anymore; why should she come to her beaconing? Yet she had to remain loyal to her clan, and that meant some sacrifices. Hissing rudely, the femme padded out into the clearing. The stars of Silverpelt shown down upon Dreamfrost, making her look as though she was a StarClan warrior. The white feline padded up and sat down a the base of the rock.

Why were things so miserable for ThunderClan? Why did they have a traitor for a leader? Why why why? Frozen flicked her tail and looked up at her so called leader. Yet she felt some bit of sympathy for the she-cat. Frozen had mated with a different cat before, and even bore his kits. Yet she never ran away; she faced her clan and her challenge. Why did Dream run? Because StarClan said so? Frozentears snorted and narrowed her eyes. Some excuse. Some cat she was, running away from her problems.

The warrior shrugged and started to groom herself. Problems ran deep in ThunderClan. It seems as though they were over run by lies. Hard lies, lies that would change cats' lives forever. But no, not Frozentears. She faced her troubles already, and they are long gone. Standing back up, Frozentears padded away and sat back down in the shadows. She would watch from here. Away from the clan's fury. Most didn't know about the kits yet. But she did. Hidden came straight to her to announce the news. Blue orbs closed in anger and the feline shifted her position. Things were getting rough, and she didn't like it. If Drestar want to leave, that was her choice. Leave then, and don't come back. Right?

[/blockquote]

[,hateh?]

[[ s h a d e . heart ]]


a l t h o u g h y o u ' r e s l e e p i n g .. rightnexttome

The steady drumming in his chest supplied the beat to his quickened pace. The mesmerizing golden eyes beamed silently through the dimming light, flashing from their place inside his black-furred head. The feline's back arched, pace slowed. There was a sudden chill that flushed down his spine, causing his ragged claws to flex and dig tiny ditches in the cool ground.
Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey join beneath the Highledge for a Clan meeting !

And so, the queen had returned. A being so familiar, yet so foreign to him. A smug twitch of his upper lip. Shadeheart's broad paws flexed into motion again, pushing him against his will toward the shrill call - and back the way he had come. It wasn't awkward for the faintly-outlined shadow to venture out at night, as it had become a regular habit over the weeks. As his muscled rippled, auds straightened, and eyes grew to a more refined glare, his broad shape pushed easily past the thinning brush and into the clearing. The shocking brilliance of the white moon burned in his eyes, so tuned and used to the dark. Shade flinched, drawing himself back. His thick black head arched against the dying light, eyes glinting. He could see the familiar shape of the pretty femme that stood silently on the Highledge, bright blue eyes seeming to be somewhat dulled and tired as they stared over her audience - Shadeheart, and another paled femme who's glistening coat beamed in even the darkest twilight shadows. Shoulder blades rolling back in eyes shining in slight disgust, the tom repositioned himself and padded all too proudly to the center of the moonlit clearing, where the pretty light fell, shimmering against the leader's silvered coat, into a misshapen circle at the foot of the Highledge.

w e l l . ' i t f e e l s l i k e ' xx y o u a r e w i d e a w a k e
cc. andinad i s t a n tdream .cc

But oh, as Shadeheart set himself into a sitting position, his furred lips broke into an all-out smirk. Leader? The tom shook his head, the disgusting smirk still plastered on his face. This femme was no longer a leader. His yellow eyes tilted up and he leered, silently, up at the cat. And that, was no longer her place. It would belong to her deputy, yet now he would become a leader. The tom tilted his head to the side, enjoying his cruel thoughts toward Dreamfrost. A traitor, a deserter, a double-crosser. He didn't stop. Each word brought up another and another, until he caught himself. The smirk faded. His yellow eyes vanished for a split second before reopening and staring - softly, now - up at the ex-leader. Her blue eyes seemed weary, as if she'd been awake for hours without an end. He found his heart softening, and straightened up instantly. And yet he couldn't get the old glare to enter his eyes, to let his head fill with rants about untrustworthy leaders, to forget about how Dream had her own life, outside of the Clans.

l e a d i n g a [[life]] t h a t i s f i n a l l y x free x

Outside of the Clans.
And now, a sad look filled his eyes, and the black tom let his body slump. His front paws spread out, and he slipped to the ground to lay in an awkward position: his hind paws still in sitting position, black back sloping gently down to where his broad head rested between his splayed-out paws. His long tail flicked, quietly stirring the soft grass and few leaves that lay here and there among the clearing. He felt so cruel. Finally, his heart had caught up with his mind, and the thoughts had faded away. Shadeheart grunted, struggling to right himself and pull his heavy body back into a sitting position. The yellow eyes resisted movement, and he stared, still sympathetic for the lost queen, at the barely visible green in front of him; unable to meet the living moon that stood quietly upon the Highledge.

ofthese - endless n i g h t s xx and countless;;fights'
**that t u r n us i n t o who w e hate t o be.//

[dream.]

[ m o t t l e d wing ♥ thunder c l a n ]

This night was warmer than most had been so far this green - leaf , the sky was cloudless , a great contrast to the darkened and gloomy skies of earlier that day . Through the clear heavens , the stars of Silverpelt were starting to materialize , the forests warrior ancestors . Sunset colors blazed down into ThunderClan Camp , highlighting the shadows of the elegant woodland felines coats , as they lazed around the clearing on this mild twilit evening . An invitingly playful breeze swept the clearing slowly , and the voices of all the cats in the clearing just outside drifted lightly into the medicine cave on the edge of camp where Mottledwing crouched , sorting herbs .

The beautiful dappled femme sat , seemingly in a trance as she separated juniper berries from Deathberries . It was crucial that she did this correctly , one mistake , and one of her patients could end up being poisoned , instead of being treated for bellyache . Her auric to black flecked tail beat the ground weakly , as she pawed the deep red deathberries into a separate pile . Her orange irises seemed almost glazed as she used her small pink nose set on her pale white streaked muzzle to move the pile of juniper further away . She now had only a small pile left to sort , as she set back to work with her paws . "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey join beneath the Highledge for a Clan meeting !" The call of her leader came so unexpectedly , that the young she - cat accidentally pressed her paw into the mixed heap of berries , squashing quite a few of them . Sitting up straight and shaking her paw irritably , Mottledwing had a rather sad speculation what this meeting might be about .

Rising to her paws , the tortoiseshell she - cat looked around for Hiddenheart`s supply of moss , so she could clean off her paws . Spotting it on the far side of the den , the alluring femme , attempting to turn on only three paws , stepped in the pile once more , this time with her one white hind paw . "Great StarClan , what next ?" She muttered , half walking lightly , half hopping over to the moss . Pulling a wad out for herself , Mottledwing dipped it in the sparkling pool that lay in the center of the cave , and using quick , wet strokes , managed to clean the berry juice off of both of her paws relatively quickly before making her way into the clearing .

I guess it`s time .. The young feline thought dully , as she cast an anxious glance around the clearing . The warm draft played around her paws , making her feel somewhat lighter , as her heart had begun to feel significantly heavier . It was Dreamfrost`s final goodbye , and Hiddenheart`s .. This meant that it was time for her to take on the responsibilities of a full Medicine Cat . She had already received her name , but this would be the real thing . Am I ready ? There would be no way to tell just yet . She knew her herbs and remedies , but how could she cope under pressure , without her mentor ? Aside from that , Hiddenheart was her dear friend , it would be like losing her to StarClan . It felt as if she had been slowly and silently submerged by her woe and worry for the two she - cats . Where would they go ? What would they do ? Who would they meet up with ? Could they survive this ?

Or would neither of them ever make it back to ThunderClan ?

[the day the world went away]

E T E R N A L f a u l t__________

w a l k r i g h t t h r o u g h m e , i ' m n o t r e a l l y t h e r e . . .


Slowly in the dim afterglow, two soft golden orbs drowsily blinked themselves open, feigning sleepiness from an artificial nap and immediately scanning the surrounding areas, as was a paranoid habit of his. After a brief stiff moment of holding his breath and remaining still, the dark bronze tabby lifted himself to his paws and stretched, his spine curving lithely. Eternalfault paused a moment, raised a single snowy paw and cast a thoughtful lick across the pristine fur, then stepped gracefully out into the timid moonlight.

Petite paws attached to slender limbs picked a delicate path over to where three other cats were gathered, hesitating once in their rhythmic pad over the ground as their owner mulled over who exactly was calling the meeting. He wasn’t kept long though; a soft ethereal glow of moonlight on achromatic fur informed him of which cat it was, and with a sigh he padded soundlessly forward to stop beside a tortoiseshell femme that he remembered from a fateful day on patrol, one dark-crowned ear swiveling around warily. Keen amber eyes drifted over to gaze placidly at a midnight-dark tom, noting the almost undetectable shine of sympathy in the yellow orbs that were locked on the ex-leader above them all. Following the dark tom's gaze, Eternal finally allowed himself to stare and wonder, all his previous thoughts giving way to the intense questions and curiosity that the dark feline was sure plagued them all. Of all the thoughts and emotions that merged and swirled through his alert mind, one question stuck out.

Was this the end, the official resignation of their once-beloved leader?
Of course it was.

By clenching his jaw, the dark tabby controlled his expression, the smooth mask remaining unfazed; only his ocher eyes gave away the inner turmoil. Bewilderment, misery and pity all combined to make a confusing mix, reflecting dimly in the dark cat's glimmering orbs.
His slender feline form was completely still, his amber eyes locked on the silvery she-cat above. A small whisper came from barely parted jaws. "Leaving now? How will the kits cope?"


{ ooc: homfg that was a crappy post. forgive me. xD }

[M A t t.]

h a i l s t o r m - t c
xx_i"never"knew`that<EVERYTHING>was[ f a l l i n g ].through;;
And even as he stood there, pretending to be okay, faking his own indifference, the burden would not lift. It weighed more painfully than ever now, making it increasingly difficult to draw the line between vision and reality. He was literally being blinded by his own agony. The news had come so unexpectedly, followed carefully by the sombre ache that had begun in his heart. It pierced him like icy claws; sharp and hurtful, yet cold and numbing. His heart followed the same steady command. Beat. Beat. Beat. The blood that filled his veins seemed chilled, turning him into a feline cut fresh from pure cold ice. His very core, his inner self, seemed changed. Something else seemed to enter his brain, and take possession of his body. Something that he clearly was not. Her simple words had changed everything, even him. Something inside had perished. Positive thoughts, affectionate feelings, all was gone. Except one, single shard of care. There was a part of him that still cared about her, despite all that she had done. A part of him that still cared for the kits that he had once thought were his. And the whole of him, that still longed for everything to have turned out perfect. But in this story, there didn't seem to be a happily ever after.

that;;everyone.i[ k n e w ]was"waiting"on`a<QUEUE>-xx
The hard ground beneath his paws did nothing to prevent him from digging his milky white claws deep into the earth. A warm breeze snaked through his ashen shaded legs, making the fronds of fern beside him rustle. His tail was tucked close to his side, immobile. The smoky black warrior's fur was well groomed, His lean muscles invisible beneath his long pelt. His dark muzzle remained expressionless, triangular ears pointing forward. Defiance shone in those deep apple green eyes, as the ThunderClan deputy focused on his short-term past. Standing just outside of camp, The feral forest cat could still hear her summons. But weather he would respond to his duty was a whole different question. Moving for what felt like the first time in ages, the night coated tom shifted his position to stand up. What would ThunderClan think if their leader to-be didn't show up for Clan meetings? Leader... He hadn't really thought about it before. Doubts crowded his mind and a single thought crossed his head; Am I really the right cat for this job?

x.to`turn_and[ r u n ]when;;all/i<NEEDED>was-the"truth"_xx
Dusk was fading into night as the deputy rejoined his clanmates gathering beneath the Highledge. And he didn't even look up, for he knew the painful sight of the troubled, yet beautiful she-cat might cause him to openly lose it once again. Though his apple green irises didn't shift from the grassy ground, the smoky tom could see her clearly in his mind. Too clearly. Her argent fur glowing, the light of one thousand stars settles into her coat like frosty dust, or sparkling drops of fresh fallen rain. He shifted rather uncomfortably, and reluctantly pushed his way through the gathering crowd to his place next to Mottledwing, just below the Highledge. Flicking the pretty femme gently with his feathery tail to catch her attention, Hailstorm settled down beside her. Lost for words, the deputy sat in awkward silence, gave a half-hearted shrug, and inspected his inky paws. An immense feeling of self-consciousness engulfed him, making the feeling of hate, and the want to run from his problems grow stronger. And not for the first time, the dark coated tom wondered why, of all the cats in the forest, this had to happen to him. There was nothing he could do to ease the pain. He needed time.
xx-i'm<LOSING>you//and_it's[ e f f o r t l e s s ];;

She's on my mind all the time...

[the day the world went away]

S W I R L kit___________________

and don't you wish it all would be okay?

A sigh came from the small jaws of a young white cat, barely audible through the quiet murmur of felines gathered around the Highledge and Dreamfrost's call to assemble. Her cold eyes, one hued faded teal and the other achromatic silver, gazed to the indigo sky above, tracing invisible paths along the stars and moon. In soft, emotionless tones, the milky kit whispered to the atmosphere, admitting her resentful misery to the lucid skies. "I don't want to, Mother." One pallid ear twitched and swiveled toward the assembled felines, a slight scowl darkening her apathetic expression. "Why do you have to leave? What are you so scared of? I know you're scared, I can see it within your eyes..Why, Mother?"

Slowly the unenthusiastic anger dissipated and her eyes began to burn with unspilled tears; the heterochromatic orbs lowered from the sky to her pale paws and the shadowed stone beneath her limbs. Quietly on top of her secluded perch, elevated above the other felines and bathed in darkly welcoming shadows, the milky femme let the tears come and cascade one by one through her breaking facade, the salty droplets clinging to each sharp jagged edge of her shattering mask. Soft sobs shook the diminutive femme; she slowly lifted her different-hued gaze, letting out barely audible whimpers, to stare through the darkness to where her mother stood, gleaming, on the Highledge. The hot tears blurred her vision and a dark, sullen feeling contorted her facial expression once more, smoothing out the despondency and replacing it with stoic clarity.

Her heterochromatic eyes narrowed as her breaths slowed gradually, inhaling the shadows that enveloped her and steeling herself against everything. Swirlkit's small frame tensed then leaped from the sheltered rock, landing neatly on the moonlight-soaked ground. Her milky pelt gleamed softly in the pure moonlight; the small female seemed to drift over the ground, floating just slightly closer to the group of cats but still separated from the others. Her cold eyes glared up at her mother as the speech became clear; an irrepressible feeling of resentment and dread made her scowl more pronounced. This is all your fault.

d o n ' t c r y .

[l.ast of the [wild]s]

:S c o r c h k i t

/ I / wanna / fly / away... /

Confusion.

It swirled in his mind and was evident in his bright green eyes. Crouching in the entrance of the nursery, he watched the ceremony from the shadows of the thorns. His tail tip twitched and his ears flicked, catching his mother's nervous words. Shuffling his paws in the dirt, the tomkit edged a bit closer, letting sunlight shed over his oaken and white face. He titled his head, wondering why his mother was calling a Clan meeting so early.

His ears pricked as the Clan gathered before their leader. The fur along his neck rose and he bristled, suddenly hearing what the warriors were whispering. What? Leaving? But why? Green eyes flickered back up to the silver femme. Now he understood her anxiety. Gasping softly, Scorchkit redirected his attention to Hailstorm, wondering why the tom was just sitting there. Stepping a bit closer, Scorchkit fought off the need to run up to the dark warrior and plead with him on why his mother had to leave. Why aren't you doing anything?! Father why are you just sitting there? His heart hurt from the confusion.

More than anything he wanted to rush toward Dreamfrost and place his paw on her soft fur. He wanted to know why she was leaving the Clan, leaving them. Scorchkit blinked his green eyes and his tail dropped, sadness beginning to override his thoughts. "Are you leaving forever?" The tomkit mewed softly to himself. Confused and sad, all he could do was stay in the shadows and listen to the Clan speaking amongst themselves. Listen and watch as his mother turned her back and left them.

/ ...I'm / stuck / on / the / ground. /

[dream.]

..........................................................................................................

[ t h y m e kit ♥ thunder c l a n ]

The bright cold silver moon had risen , the center of tonights darkening indigo sky . Stars were scattered across the ink stained canvas that seemed to wrap around the forest so flawlessly . They danced in the distant heavens , beautiful , yet surreal when paired with the surroundings . It was like a picture , a masterpiece , painted by a skilled artist . The light breath of wind that twisted and weaved its way around thick barky tree trunks was carrying a strange sense of power in its invisible hands . Like a strong warning , and an unexpected push of inspiration , or a feeling of bare longing and surreal freedom . The feeling grew like a thick fog rolling in , and the atmosphere seemed to cry out for the clarity of light and warmth to break through this mist we call reality . The leaves were rustling , branches shaking . Trees swaying . This wind seemed to carry the power of the world upon its shoulders . And as breaths of this magic were drawn , an ominous feeling was spread .. like a plague .

He didn`t take it in like normal air . His breath was deep , as he let the fresh , cool oxygen of the night fill him up . The strange feeling spread through his body , making his tawny brown paws tremble . His pale whiskers twitched as he smiled to himself . Not because of the night and its beauty , but because of the night alone . He knew now . And he wanted nothing more than to be free . This life had yet to impress him . To others , it seemed so simple . Hunt for your Clan and fight for your Clan . Die for your Clan . But for him , there was just so much more . Thymekit flattened his ears and shut his jaded auric eyes tight , distorting the natural oval - almond shape . It`s amazing how much being loved can change someone .

And even more amazing how much they`ll change when this love is taken away .

He knew she would leave him . The whole Clan was whispering about it . Trying to keep the truth from his sensitive young ears . Every day , Thymekit woke up afraid . Afraid of who else would leave him . Was it something that he had done wrong ? Why didn`t she love her Clan anymore ? He wondered why she was leaving him . What was so bad about this life ? Maybe she was different too . Maybe she thought there was more out there than Clan life and the warrior code . He considered leaving with her , following her . But he couldn`t just leave his siblings here alone . He decided in an instant that he wasn`t going to leave with her , wasn`t going to make the same mistake that she was about to make . Though he just couldn`t shake the thought from his head ..

His voice quiet , and his words were spoken more to himself than to anyone else . "Why don`t you love me anymore ?" <3
..........................................................................................................

[untilthis.echo]

[d r i f t]

[b a p t i z e d . w i t h . a . p e r f e c t . n a m e ;
t h e . d o u b t i n g . o n e . b y . h e a r t]

Lies. Lies were things he knew well, for in the entirety of his young life, all he'd ever been told were lies. Everything is fine, there's no need to concern yourself, it'll all be ok, you're fine. Such lies, spewed from every pair of lips that wherever he turned to, whomever he turned to, he was lost in a cesspool of confusion. Could none give him an ounce of truth? Could no one speak what was true, what they believed? Did they have to hide behind their lies? The cords were pulled so tight around his neck that he found no claws could loosen them. He was suffocating in lies.

What was one more lie anyways? Whatever she said, whatever she whispered, uttered into his ears was once brimmed with affection, still was actually, until now. Something had been lost along the way and he found himself scraping his paws into nonexistent air to catch it, yet all he found between his paws was nothing. Believe nothing, hear nothing, see nothing, feel nothing. This mantra was the only thing keeping him alive. A seed of resentment was filling his core to the brim. Did his siblings feel like this? Like a burning torch was lit inside them and it festered, grew brighter each day. A sense of empathetic pain surrounded him and he breathed it in, breathed it in for it was the single mutinous cry rasped by his kin.

A grunt escaped his lips; he would not leave the shadows of the den. His eyes, pale acidic green with just slivers of amber, gleamed angrily in the darkness. Run coward run, turn from lies and choke in your own cruor. The thoughts bouncing in his head made him smirk. Unconsciously, his claws unsheathed and drew grooves in the soil. Dreamfrost's called echoed from outside and idly he turned his back on her. He mused, glaring into the back of the den and listened to the drowning murmurs of the felines collecting in the clearing. If he concentrated he could pick apart the own agonized whimpers of his siblings. She was leaving. Their mother was leaving; time to say goodbye.

"Why?" he snarled softly, whipping his cranium about and padding out into the light of the camp. Ears pinned to his head, he loped from the den, past his siblings and into the mass of cats. Though small, he easily weaved through the mass and found himself staring up at the stone walls of the Highledge. His narrowed gaze glared at Dreamfrost, tail lashing as he growled, "Why are you leaving us?"

Answer please because it was no good to say goodbye.

[keestaa..]

[ Willowkit of ThunderClan ]

i will t r y to b e l i e v e
in things i c a n n o t s e e ♥

"Sleep, child, sleep " a soft spoken female feline gasped as she heard the infant kit whimper in her dreams. "I will be here to protect you young one, " she spoke again but this time her voice began to evaporate in the gusts of wind blowing through the capacious dwelling that the blooming kits and their tuckered out mothers spent most of their daily time. When the young bundle of delicate gray fur began to move toward the sound, though still in the restless trance of sleep, the tender placid voice slowly began to fade until nothing was heard. The tranquil calmness of the evening was brought back and Willowkit was wide awake beaming at the silvery glowing she-cat that she once knew as her Leader. But that glowing stare of admiration soon began to withdraw from her fragile youthful face until only an ounce of sadness remained. The rest was emotionless, her eyes, her posture and her gestures to passing cats were nothing in the eyes of her own. Only her frown, the grimace so deep and so unreadable, only she knew what was happening in her mind. And her only.

Dreamfrost was leaving.

Who she thought cared for her Clan. Who she thought cared for Hailstorm. Who she thought cared for her reputation. Who she thought cared for her kits. Who she thought cared for her was now leaving and expected to never return as Leader. And if she did, she would not be respected by her Clanmates for all Willowkit knew. At least, she would never respect Dreamfrost the same way ever again. When dumbfounded Clan realized that she was leaving, they were left in utter bewilderment. Was Willowkit the only one confused about where she was heading? Was she the only one who didn't understand why she was leaving? She knew that the older warriors were trying to keep it away from her sensitive ears but it wasn't easy to realize what was happening. And living in a dwelling with the children of Dreamfrost made everything seem a bit more difficult to take, for she knew very well the pain, suffering, confusion, and bitter foreboding attitude that the four young kits had been giving her. And because of this mishap and the mayhem surrounding it, Willowkit still had no family. And was alone in this utterly dark world.

Cautiously, dainty paw by dainty paw, the young feathery furred kit padded toward throng of angry, sad, and confused cats. The dark night sky made it hard to see but the moon, her guiding light, and the stars, her only family helped her reach her destination. Nevertheless, she arrived at her spot, snuggled between the multitudes of the mob, she let out a tiny wail in hope that no one could have possibly heard her cry in agony. Why was everyone leaving her? First her mother dying when giving birth to her infants and then her sister Windkit and her dear brother and best friend Coalkit getting taken away by a hawk. Her one and only father taking the two strongest kits into the wild to live as rogues for their lives and now Dreamfrost. Leaving. Forever as Scorchkit asked? Possibly. But for now, she was as companionless and abandoned as she had ever been. And hopefully as she ever would be.

"Why does everyone have to leave me here alone?"

but my f a i t h is s h a k e n now
like its n e v e r been b e f o r e ♥

[dream.]

..........................................................................................................

[ d r e a m frost ♥ thunder c l a n ]
,, what is love``

Too many of us live our lives according to the actions of others . Too many of us rely on someone else for our happiness . What is love ? A game ? A metaphor for the unknown ? The feeling , it can take over us completely . You become hypnotized , possessed by it . Love is life , for we focus around it so much . More than all the other things that should really matter . And in the end , it all turns out the same . So why don`t we ever stop ? Love is hell . Because nothing stays the same , and we both know hearts can change . Lies are for the weak , when we aren`t strong enough to hear the truth . But sometimes , being wrong is better than understanding everything . Love is me . Beacons are for the deluded , like guidance for the mislead . Love is you . How you used to feel . 'You would rather bleed than be without her' . Satisfying for a while , but everyone`s a letdown . Still , you love them , and that`s all the matters to you . Love is everything . It is having so much care for someone that it goes to your head . You can`t find the words to express how you feel . Overwhelming . But you can both feel it . Love is nothing . Nothing but an image that can shatter . So easily .. Love is nothing special . It can happen so easily , so traitorously , so deeply . And it almost always happens when we don`t want it to . But before you know it , it`s over . Love is nothing special anymore . But then we remember all the times that it was . It was so special to us . Life is not counted by the number of breaths that you take , but by the number of times that your breath is taken away . And I still remember all the things that you used to say . Love is a gift of life . To be treated with so much care . Love is loss .

,, what is loss``

It starts when your heart stops dead . When you realize that you`ve no chances or choices left . When you give up . Loss is life . It`s all consuming and all powerful . It drowns you in sorrow and dying hope . Loss is hell . The feelings that it leaves you with . The feeling that physical pain hurts less than the feeling in your heart . Loss is me . If I promised you forever , how much would it be worth ? Out of sight , does it still hurt ? Loss is you . So sorry .. have you ever wished that you could take something back ? Loss is everything . Thoughts can`t be controlled as you`re flooded with self pity . You can`t confide in anyone . You`re alone in this battle . Loss is nothing . You can push it away , but denial won`t make you any stronger . In the end you have to admit that somewhere along the line , trust was betrayed . Loss is nothing special . If it happens all the time , then why don`t we stop ? Break this cycle . Why do we continue to give our trust away , so freely with such confidence in failure ? Loss is nothing special anymore . Not after it`s happened so many times . The feeling gets tired , and we`re worn from the strain . So cold now . Loss is a gift of death . It gives us depth and changes our hearts . After so much loss , how is it possible to take anything for granted ? Loss is love .

,, love & loss - they`re the same thing

Questions . Inquiring and demanding . They ruffled the delicate silver fur of her triangular ears , these cold questions . The cries of her kits stood out most in the surprised chorus . "Why do you have to leave ? What are you so scared of ? I know you`re scared , I can see it within your eyes .. Why, Mother ?" She squeezed her icy cerulean eyes shut tight , trying to blink away whatever had given .. this was a verbal blow from her only daughter . The one who never failed to see her weakness . The silvery femme was scared . "Are you leaving forever ?" Forever .. it meant that she would never again see these cats . No . She didn`t want to leave forever . But it`s not like I have a choice , is it ? Another shrill cry cut across her thoughts , this one stung . "Why don`t you love me anymore ?" Impatience grew from within , and the shaded queen`s icy claws scraped against the cold rock upon which she stood . He didn`t understand . Was there time to explain ? "Why are you leaving us ?" Drawing her tail close to her side , her bright orbs scanned her audience below . What more could she do . These questions , they were impossible to answer .

"I have to . I have to leave ."

The beautiful femme now addressed the whole Clan .

"It is the will of StarClan . I am no longer fit to head ThunderClan . You`re new leader , of course , is very able and willing , and I`m sure that the whole of the Clan will be better off without me ."

She scanned the crowd once more , fixing her eyes upon the dark tom . Her words of support were more for him than for anyone else .

"Hailstorm , I know that you will be the perfect leader for ThunderClan . Use your strength in times of trouble and your courage in times of need . Hold your head high , so that others may see the rare qualities of leadership , friendship , and intelligence that you possess ."

Speaking directly to him was difficult , after all , the last time that they had talked , there had been a considerable amount of yelling and anger . Dreamfrost knew she was unforgivable . Turning toward a small tortoiseshell femme , the argent she - cat spoke once more .

"Hiddenheart , as some of you already know , has chosen to come with me . Mottledwing , I know that you`ll be able to take her place as a fully devoted medicine cat to ThunderClan , may your connections to our warrior ancestors forever stay strong ."

[/center]
There was only one thing left to do . Scanning the crowd once more , Dreamfrost found the feline that she was looking for .

"Frozentears , I have a favor to ask of you before I go ."

...........................................................................................................[/color][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[&& . frozen [ once | again ]]

xx. HIDDENHEART

It was too much. The questions were over whelming. The fear and sorrow of the cats around her were over whelming. Hiddenheart closed her eyes, tried to drown out the sorrowful questions. She didn't want to go. But she needed to go. No matter what StarClan wanted, Hidden couldn't just abandon her leader. Besides, the clan would have Mottledwing to look after them. That was what she wanted... wasn't it? Hiddenheart didn't know. The calico she-cat opened her swampy green eyes. She was hidden in the shadows of the camp, outside of the clan's hurtful glares.

She knew they hated Dreamfrost. She knew they hated her as well. Face it; they were abandoning their own clan for what? For lies? Hiddenheart didn't even have a lie! She flicked her ears forward when Dreamfrost started to speak again. "I have to. I have to leave. It is the will of StarClan. I am no longer fit to head ThunderClan. You’re new leader, of course, is very able and willing, and I’m sure that the whole of the Clan will be better off without me. Hailstorm, I know that you will be the perfect leader for ThunderClan. Use your strength in times of trouble and your courage in times of need. Hold your head high, so that others may see the rare qualities of leadership, friendship, and intelligence that you possess. Hiddenheart, as some of you already know, has chosen to come with me. Mottledwing, I know that you’ll be able to take her place as a fully devoted medicine cat to ThunderClan, may your connections to our warrior ancestors forever stay strong." Dreamfrost trailed off. Hiddenheart stood up. Was this the end? But Dreamfrost interrupted her thoughts. "Frozentears, I have a favor to ask of you before I go.”


xx. FROZENTEARS

Why was she stalling? Why couldn't she just leave already? Frozen saw the pathetic 'leader' cringe in her spot as the accusing questions were shot at her. She deserved it. She was running from her problems instead of standing to face them. Besides, it was her own fault she got pregnant. She side glanced at Hiddenheart. She hated the calico she-cat as well. She had nothing to hide. Why does she leave? Dream already broke the warrior code; leave her to wander off in the dust. Frozentears sighed and shook her head. Why did she carry such feelings? Was it… because she felt the loss of her young? A tear formed in Frozentears’ eyes. Why did she leave her small kit to die in the wilderness? So she wasn’t punished? She should have stayed the trial.

She looked back up at Dreamfrost as she began to speak again. "I have to. I have to leave. It is the will of StarClan. I am no longer fit to head ThunderClan. You’re new leader, of course, is very able and willing, and I’m sure that the whole of the Clan will be better off without me. Hailstorm, I know that you will be the perfect leader for ThunderClan. Use your strength in times of trouble and your courage in times of need. Hold your head high, so that others may see the rare qualities of leadership, friendship, and intelligence that you possess. Hiddenheart, as some of you already know, has chosen to come with me. Mottledwing, I know that you’ll be able to take her place as a fully devoted medicine cat to ThunderClan, may your connections to our warrior ancestors forever stay strong."

What a load of mouse-dung! She thought no such thing! She only said this because she had to. "Frozentears, I have a favor to ask of you before I go." Frozentears looked up to see the silver she-cat looking at her. Fear pumped through Frozen’s body. Why? She didn’t know. What she also didn’t know was why Dream was speaking to her. She could probably smell the hatred penetrating of her body. So why would Dreamfrost talk to her? Shaking off the question, Frozentears got up and walked out of the shadows. She stood at the base of the rock and looked up to Dreamfrost. “Yes, Dreamfrost?”

[M A t t.]

nothing lasts forever...

h a i l s t o r m - t c

...forever is a lie

life lessons __ and confessions___________________________
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c h a n g e; it happens so quickly, doing it's very best to spread pain and discord like a plague. Minds are ever changing, hearts are ever changing. We are ever changing. These differences always seem to show when we don't need them, and much less want them. The least desired results possible are produced, hitching our plans and spreading confusion thick as mist in our minds. But when we want change, it never seems to come. The truth seems so two-faced, everyone changes, yet you can't change anyone. No matter how hard you try, only they can change themselves.
He had tried to change her. Letting out a faint snarl, clearly irritated, his milky claws deepened pressure and parted with the earth as he tore his ashen shaded paws out of the grass, sending random bits of dirt flying. He had learned now, that in this world trying was rarely ever enough.--------
c o n s i e n c e; why is the world so hypocritical? We do things that we know are wrong, but we do them anyways. It really leaves you wondering how someone could consciously decide to be "bad", when they know clear in their mind that they shouldn't break rules. Even unwritten rules... everyone has a conscience, everyone knows right from wrong. Maybe there's some deep explanation for this behavior, or maybe we all have a little bit of rebel locked away inside. Maybe we need to just let it out.---------------------------------------
She was conscious of her wrongs. She had admitted it to him. His furry black tail flipped, and his belly writhed with nervous energy as he recalled this memory, was she truly as sorry as she said? His ear twitched. Sorry... what a lie.---
r e l i a n c e; it comes when you begin to trust too much. A feeling of need, you grow so used to something that change seems impossible. But reliance can be deadly when things begin to fall apart. And then you're left alone with a flood of memories, and a feeling of desire that you know will never be satisfied.------------------------------------------
He had relied on her. For happiness, strength, love... But it was all a lie. A big lie. Consumed by a feeling of great loss, the large tom lowered his apple green gaze and tried to divert his mind. Tried to blink the pain out of his eyes. He focused on the grass that coated the floor of the hallow. The delicate sparkle of fresh frost. Lies are for the weak, Dreamfrost... he thought, focusing on her starry pelt. Letting her words of "meaning" escape him. Why listen to more lies?--------------------------------------------------------------
d e s i r e; the need to be loved. But sometimes things will just never be the same. Not after all the lies. But love is never a maybe thing, and there was no doubt that he cared about her, no doubt about his feelings...---------------------
He shifted his broad shoulders, tearing his bright irises from the beautiful femme, her muzzle moving soundlessly to him. He didn't care to listen to her. Not tonight, never again. Silverpelt glittered above them, shimmering silently, offering him no explanation. His lean muscles tensed, and he turned back to his clan.-------------------------------------
And he noticed several pairs of eyes turned on him. Bristling slightly, he heard her words, full with emotion. Fake emotion... he snorted. This whole situation was unbelievable for him. What had he ever done to deserve these words of praise? She didn't even care about him enough to stay loyal. Didn't care enough to stay with her Clan. "Hailstorm, I know that you will be the perfect leader for ThunderClan. Use your strength in times of trouble and your courage in times of need. Hold your head high, so that others may see the rare qualities of leadership, friendship, and intelligence that you possess." Yeah, right.-------------------
He drew a deep breath in. He took a step back. The thoughts poured out of his mind like liquid poetry. Everything in life changes so fast. Perfect one minute, and different the next. Torn. The world is cold, we do the wrong thing knowing the consequences full well. Why? Maybe to fit in or be accepted. Maybe it sounds okay at the time, and stupid in reality. But life goes on. Everyone always gets caught in every lie. Eventually. Face the consequences like a warrior, you've known all along that this would happen. There will be times when you feel like you've lost it all, and times when you realize that nothings actually broken. And no matter how many times things go wrong, we always have hope, the kind that excuses everyones behavior and makes things seem just a little bit brighter. Optimism is something that will weaken a strong leader, it isn't reality. I know that I was blind to her faults. It's classic. You love them, so you don't want to believe that they're a bad person. You love them and that's all that matters. You have this undying hope in the back of your mind that maybe, they'll change. But in this world, nothing works out the way you want it to. Everyone's a letdown, The people you care about enjoy watching you fall, the people you love get pleasure from your pain. Very few truly care. But we can live through anything, so maybe goodbye is the only way.------------------------------
He met her eyes.-----------------------------------------------
He let them shine with all unspoken.--------------------------
She was leaving now.-------------------------------------------
Leaving him with freedom.-------------------------------------
The freedom to stop caring.-----------------------------------
Goodbye, Dreamfrost...------------------------------------------
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_____________________hailstorm____thunderclan deputy___.

[the day the world went away]

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________________eternalFAULT________________

you supply the rumors --
and i'll provide the wrath.

---

The reactions were as he'd expected; disbelief, disdain, despondency. Golden eyes narrowed in sympathy; he could feel similar sentiment welling up from deep within, but he held his tongue as the ex-leader continued. Others murmured disrespectfully as Dreamfrost spoke, their eyes darting up to stare warily at her. Eternalfault's gaze fell as the silver cat continued on, his impulse to speak growing until he couldn't hold it anymore.

It hurt so much, hurt to breathe. The pain and bitterness in the wind patterns were sharp in his mind, and the kits' whispers were echoing in his soul.

"What are you so scared of?"
"Are you leaving forever?"
"Why don’t you love me anymore?"
"Why are you leaving us?"

They reverberated in the dark night air, and the blood pounded steadily in Eternal's ears. His golden eyes squeezed shut as he rose to his paws and staggered away.

He wanted to show the ex-leader, the mother of those kits, the coward what she was really doing to herself and the kits. He could see it now, could see that the path they were blindly running down was not the right one. It was the one that led straight to Hell, and perdition it would be for them all.

What he did not see was that his heart was returning...and nothing was whole but everything wasn't broken in the world as it turned upside down..

"Oh, no, no." His lithe body turned back to face the silver she-cat, and he felt the pain.

"Do you know the ending?"

-------