coldpaw - riverclan [EDITED] (again) sorry =/

[lilrae]

Name: coldpaw

Gender: Female

Rank: apprentice

Age: 10 moons

Clan: Riverclan

Description: She has the most beautiful icy eyes that at the first glance are simply pretty but after a better look you can see sadness and hope in her eyes. She has a large scar just above her right eye that she doesn't like to talk about. Her fur is like a a common grey tabby with a blueish shine. All of her paws are all white. She has a average sized tail with a back tip. She is long and skinny you can always see her ribs and she always looks skinny but she will grow out of it.

Picture: Don have a pix sorry =/

Personality: She is a strange cat that loves water and hates the heat. She had a strange but strong love for kittens. She loves to run and swim, she is rarely hungry and prefers to find food than eat it. She is very loyal and trustworthy. Some days she acts angry and likes to keep to her self on those days. She hunts and trys to keep herself distracted so her memory's wont come back to her of her past. She becomes quickly attached to the first few cats that are friendly to her and bonds quickly

History:
She was born a stray her father had died 3 days before she was born. She was the runt of the litter and at a half of a year old her mother and siblings were attacked bye a wolf. She managed to get away mostly unscathed up a tree only to watch her family be riped to pieces bye a large wolf. Three days later she was found by a high school girl who kept and took very good care of her although her mother despised cold hope.

A year and a half later her owner went off to collage and was not allowed to bring cold hope along with her so she left cold hope in her mothers care. For a while everything was ok coldhope did not get much love but nothing bad happened either but half a year later her old owners mother began hitting coldhope and feeding her less and less. One day she had had enough and just ran off. She did not stop running until she jumped into a small stream and washed the blood off her with the cold water. The scar above her eye is from abuse and she was left with a few other scars which are not as noticeable. She continued running until she found a small clearing where she fell asleep and woke up near the riverclan.

IC: I heard her screams and i knew it was time, my most dreaded time of the day. To most her angry and hate filled words would be just as bad as the physical pain but i saw something else, something worse. I saw her eyes I cannot begin to explain how a being could have so much hate in their heart for anything. I had never done anything wrong, i always obeyed the rules yet i was hated all the same. Even her footsteps became angry filled with hate NO I thought this will not happen again. Seconds before the door opened I sprinted under the bed. I could scarcely hear her screaming calls for me over my racing heart.

I came running out darting under her legs and feeling a sharp pain in my back left paw, she had stepped on me. I leaped at her face clawing desperately in return her hand came racing at my face, her nail scratching me narrowly missing my eye. I let out a horrid cry as i fell to the ground but i did not strike back. I saw her coming to me my mind was racing when she was five small human steps away from me i saw a open window behind her. Three steps now and coming closer i counted in my mind: 3...2...1...GO!

I took off in between letting her fall on her face I jumped onto the window sill and looked down. An easy jump for me, not so easy for her. I turned around to take a last look and i saw her staring at me for the first time she looked me in the eyes there was a moment of sorrow on her face and then it was back to rage she ran at me and I simply sprung from the window sill landing gracefully just outside of the fence. I had a nice landing but I was bruised and sore from her I looked for possible cars, i wouldn't make my get away just to be squished by some stupid thundering metal object. Than I heard the door open and her screams of "COME BACK HERE STUPID CAT!!!" I raced across the road and hid behind the bushes. I made a promis to myself that i would never take out my rage like that on anyone and only fight in defence or when needed.



Password: Secrets.

*Edited*

[l.ast of the [wild]s]

Now normally I don't accept or decline bios but since this has been up for six days I'm making an exception.

First things first, your IC was your best part, but it was rather confusing since it was in first person point of view. I had to re-check your history to see what your IC meant.

Personality is good, if a bit vague, but still nicely done. Description is good, but there are a few things I found odd. You never mentioned what kind of tabby she was. O.o I'm guessing gray if she has a blueish tinge to her fur. However, outright saying her paws have blue stripes is even odder. O.o Cats don't have blue stripes that's impossible and itS is supposed to be as realistic as possible. Now, blue-black stripes are more realistic.

For the last thing is her age. 4 years should be, in moons, 48 moons. This makes her a warrior, not an apprentice as it says in her position. O.O

If you can clear those tidbits up, then you're good to go. :

But for now, *Declined.

[l.ast of the [wild]s]

One more question before I accept your bio. Is your cat a warrior or an apprentice? Because if it's 18 moons than it should be a warrior, but it says apprentice.

But if it's an apprentice, then it should be 6-12 moons old. And she should be named Coldpaw. O.o

And is she always gonna be skinny? O.o Makes your cat seem anorexic.

[l.ast of the [wild]s]

Alright Cold! You're good to go! ^^

*Accepted

[lilrae]

thanks and im sorry for taking so long to be acdepted and everything..