--You're Not Alone.

[,hateh?]

A breeze wafted in, ruffling the tabby's fur. Her green eyes, now turned cold, stared to the ground beneath her. Her pink nose quivered, and she raised her head, staring anxiously up to Cloudystar. She'd slipped from her den, only to find this. She hadn't minded Axelflame, but seeing her Leader in this state turned her inside out. Her claws stuck out, putting ridges in the perfect ground as she glared.

[the day the world went away]

The dark toned tabby shrank back slightly at the touch of Axel's bloodied paw on her flank, twisting her shadowed tabby head around to fearfully eye the pawprint left. It was a fairly large mark, for Axelflame had fairly large paws, and it stained her soft steely fur a darkened reddish gray.

And then, almost too suddenly for her dazed, frightened mind, a cat had appeared next to her. The pelt was a light silver, which calmed her immediately, even more so when she realized who it was. Spikeshard. She felt instantly more relaxed, even though his deep cobalt gaze was terribly concerned instead of the playfully carefree emotion that seemed to be the most frequent inhabitant in his indigo orbs. It was peculiar, the contrast between the two males on opposite sides of her: one fiery red pelt, spiky and bloodied, and one a pale, steely silver, with the faded yet still visible stripes and markings of a bengal tabby. Like fire and ice, each on either side of the dark leader, Axelflame and Spikeshard stood. And alas, what was she? She was merely..a shadow, perhaps. A ghost from a distant past, still drifting among the living.

Anyway. She was jerked from her thoughts at the sound of her own quiet, pained voice, unconsciously feeling her own jaw moving in a responding statement in a knee-jerk reaction. "Yes, I'm fine, Spikeshard," she mewed quietly, peeking a glance up at the silvery tom. He appeared excessively concerned, almost frightened, but of what she didn't know. She cast a semi-worried glance at Axel and frowned slightly, then dipped her tabby head to the fiery tom as a signal to wait. Then she turned to Spike and blinked quizzically, wondering what was wrong. "Do we need to talk?" she asked, anxiety slightly clouding over her voice, the nervousness only barely audible. It was as if she was expecting something bad to happen, her silvery eyes slightly wide.

You say you're weak.
You won't let me down,
You won't let me down.

[/center]

[grayfur]

Axel gave Shard a strange glance. The handsome tabby seemed worked up about nothing. And here he was, acting as though he had done something wrong. He smirked.

"It's Axel to you, A-X-E-L, got it memorized?" he asked him cockilym as he swished his tail. This cat was bad news. No joke. Didn't he get any clues at all? Spike was sooo dense.

He chuckled at the tabby's strange anger. it was unlike any he had encountered. This guy was tough. No probelm though. Why should he care? Axel smirked. "None of you're snooty buisness."

Axel gave Clo a gentle lick. her hide was so warm and cozy, he could just wrap himself up in her. He frowned, willing for her to come back. He didn't want her to run away. No more rejection. "Don't talk," Axel huffed. "Stay."

It was clear to see Spike was getting none of this. He was just a flat peg. Axel snorted and tried to burt his laughter. the guy didn;t have a clue. Axel thought it was amuzing. he acted just like Roxas... "Duh, she's going out with me!" he laughed in spike's face.

[l.ast of the [wild]s]

Spikeshard whirled his head away from staring worriedly into Cloudystar's achromatic eyes. The tom's neck fur began to rise as a vicious growl began to erupt from his throat. The RiverClan warrior's argent fur bristled as his slender tail lashed about, claws unsheathing and sinking into soft ground. Spikeshard's eyes frosted over into chips of ice veiled by a dark, indigo sky. The tom padded forward before roughly shoving Axelflame away from Cloudystar's side with his shoulder. He hissed, "Memorize this rogue, Cloudystar is leader first and mate second!"

The bengal's rage seemed to increase more as his sapphire orbs met the fiery tom's own eyes. Ears flattened against the skull, as the thin scar began to burn, feeding off the fury rising in the normally carefree cat. Claws usually sheathed in good humor were out and scrapping against the ground, the broken right nail evident in the daylight. Axelflame's arrogant attitude was causing Spikeshard to despise the blood rogue more and more.

He has no right to Cloudystar! She's a great and beautiful leader! This cat is nothing more than crowfood! A killer and a mouse-brain! Hurt him!

The voice was powerful and ringing in his emotion driven mind, causing his head to reel with ferocity. The silver bengal felt a deep-seated feeling in his veins as he mind replayed that affectionate touch between Axelflame and Cloudystar, the sting returning full force. Am I..........jealous? Spikeshard's own voice penetrated his mind, causing him to look back at Cloudystar, surveying her sterling fur with intensity. His heart hammered against his chest.

"Yes we need to talk Cloudystar." Spikeshard whispered, his eyes losing the frosty look for moment as lapis lazuli stared deeply into her shadowed, ghostly irises. "I want to speak with you." The plated warrior said, a desperate edge to his voice.

[,hateh?]

Enraged voices reached her ears. Standing she, padded softly to the edge of the highrock, gazing up. From there, she could only see the flicker of the silver-peltage, facing the leader. Axelflame. She stepped back, eyes glazed in anger. Leaping up, she shoved her way past Axel, coming to a stop at Cloudystar's side. Blood reach her extended claws, and she let a small gasp flutter from her open maw. Shaking her furred paw desperately, she tried to get the substance off. It spread down her dark fur, staining it. She put her paw down firmly, pads tearing on the hard rock. A snarl rippled from her chest, running from her mouth. She glared at Azelflame, fur on end.
This can't be right.. She thought, her darkened gaze switching for the worried, cobalt orbs to Cloudystar's bloodied and matted fur, to Axel's laughing features.
Cloudystar.. Turn him away..
She pleaded in her still mind, hoping that Cloudystar would find some connection.

[the day the world went away]

Everything seemed to crash upon her at once.

One moment, she had been standing next to Spikeshard, staring worriedly into the silver tabby's sapphire eyes, and the next, by Axelflame's side, trying her best to comfort him. Then, quicker than her dazed mind could process, it had escalated into Spike raising his voice angrily, Axel's own arrogant tone defiant and stubborn. Duskpaw also appeared nearby, her dark eyes swiveling over the leader's dark silver pelt, over the blood seeping into the ground, over the angry bengal tom beside her, over the fiery tom opposite her. It was all too much for the Riverclan leader, so she inhaled sharply and started to back away, her silver eyes wide.

Oh, how badly she wished she could speak right then. But alas, her throat was feeling dry and when she parted her jaws, ready to speak, her voice didn't come. So instead, she just shot Spikeshard a sorrowful look, then scraped the miserable stare over the dark-pelted apprentice and the bright orangeish-scarlet tom; she could explain and talk later. Instead of taking more hits, instead of waiting out the storm, she fled.

She turned and bounded away, out of the camp, heart already jumping up in her throat as if she had run halfway around the world. Steely eyes wide with disbelief and anxiety, she scrambled through the foliage beneath Riverclan's tall, shady trees, breath coming and leaving in panicked gasps, heartbeat accelerating and pounding in sync with her rapidfire pawsteps, dark shadowed fur flattened by the strong wind that accompanied her. It was then as she stared dazedly down at the ground rushing past that she noticed how it seemed so much shadowy; she slowed slightly to a nervous, choppy trot and glanced upward through the tree branches and wide leaves. Well, no wonder. Above the dark-toned tabby's head, in the skies above, clouds reigned. True to their melancholy label, they cast a depressing shadow and the ominous promise of heavy rain over the land, but instead of inwardly groaning, Cloudystar was something akin to..being glad. She loved the rain. The rain hid her tears. She could cry forever..and nobody would know. The thought of nobody knowing how fast her tears would come, how hard they'd spill from cold, pained eyes onto dark silver fur frightened her. In a way, she wanted someone to worry. She wanted them to be so sick with concern that they'd become almost insane. Of course, thoughts like these were excessively selfish, so she shoved them out of her mind. And in their place, thoughts of her clan and Axelflame and Spikeshard crowded her small skull.

She hated being a leader, she realized. But she couldn't give up her responsibility..it had already made an everlasting impact. She'd never be the same again. But it wasn't like she could commit suicide, unless she was planning on jumping off a cliff multiple times or repeatedly inhaling water in the nearby river. And even then, with her luck, she'd end up being revived and being sent back to her responsibilities and problems. It was inescapable. But she was still running. And she'd always run, half trying to escape, half wondering if anyone would chase after her.

You promised me..
You'd never forget me.
You promised me..
You'd never forget..

[/center]

[grayfur]

Axel landed with a thunp on the cold, bloody grass. As if his fu wasn't red enough. He looked up at Cloudystar. She seemed worried and scared. Axel didn't want that. He loved her after all. He gave her his best cute face, but it didn't seem to work. Like lightening she ran out of camp, as fast as her paws would take her. Idiot.

Axel had never really liked girls, and he had dumped them one by one. it was amazing how long Axel had kept cloudystar. And he still loved her. Why? She was an idiot, he could see that much. She was a coward and a loser. Why did he love her? because she had thos qualties? Because she was a mess? Because he needed someone liek that? Becasue she had let him join?

None of the other cats seemed to understand Axel. He was just... nothing to them. Could they not see he was a genius? Axel was a piece of work al right, a bragger nad a liar. But who wasn't? Axel chuckled and got up from his possition and breathed in the cool air. Would this mean that the pathetic deputy would become leader? Then he could boot him out so he could go through with his master pan of Destroy Riverlan? Or would thet pathetic wimp come scamering back, tail between legs, saying how sorry she was?

Axel didn't really know. But one thing was for sure: he was in charge for now. Since the leader was gone he could manipualte RiverClan whichever way he wanted. perfect. Plan A was in action. he got up from his sitting posstion and leaned against a nearby oak tree. idiots. All of them. They didn't see it coming. pathetic warriors. Who did they think they were, messing with Axel?

[l.ast of the [wild]s]

Worry.

Frightening, ghastly worry.

The emotion was like a beast, clawing his insides and ripping his soul apart. It seared like a white, hot flame, sending his usually river-driven mind into a frenzy of fear. His chest felt tight, his throat was sore from shouting, and his legs trembled as he saw his Leader flee. It felt as if the air was alive with tension and the static made his fur stand on end. The plated warrior blinked a pair of confused lapis lazuli orbs and swiveled his head around. Within the RiverClan camp, each warrior was stiff, rigid with confusion and lost looks on their faces. Their Leader was gone. What now?

We're all lost. Spikeshard realized with a jolt of pain. The argent tom felt his stomach flip with nausea and concern. He pulled his lips back and hissed furiously. "All of you! Get back to your duties! The Clan comes first! I'll find Cloudystar!" The words left his throat as if they were second nature, driving his mind into a state of chaotic worry. The silver bengal felt his body quiver as a need began to hammer his skull in. Spikeshard whirled around and began to race out of the camp, his legs flying like air as his thoughts ran rampant in his head. The tom halted all movement when he came to stand beside Axelflame. His cobalt eyes narrowed with anger, hate, and disgust. The plated warrior unsheathed his claws and hissed dangerously low, "And you, get out of my sight." Spikeshard whirled around, his sapphire orbs hardening into chips of eyes and his normally carefree disposition giving way to a resolute nature. "You're not wanted here." The RiverClan tom whispered icily into the chill air.

Everything said and done, the argent cat sprung forward once more, his paws thundering on the soft ground as he followed the scent of anxiety to his Leader. A determination like no other blossomed in his heart, giving root to a fearsome faith and loyalty that shook his very core. Spikeshard ran on, lapis lazuli irises flicking left to right, searching for that fondly familiar sterling pelt. Above him, the clouds rumbled together, cluttering in a sign of eventual rain. The frenzy from before came back full force, pulsing in his blood and causing his breathing to accelerate into an erratic pattern. He had to find her! He knew, no felt something was wrong with Cloudystar. The look in her eyes as she had stared into his made his heart nearly stopped beating from agony. Spikeshard ran on, his body growing heavy with anxiety as he followed the scent. Where was she?!

And then, like a flickering shadow of sterling silver, there she was. The plated warrior halted his movement, cobalt eyes wide with fear, shock, and concern. Cloudystar was huddled together, her body clustered in a position so rigid and cold, it made the argent tom feel as if she would break from her own fragility. His Leader looked so small now, the damp, chill air brushing her fur into the wind. Spikeshard felt his throat constrict and silently, he made his way over to the she-cat, sapphire orbs saddened with feeling. The silver bengal brushed his pelt against hers, and he whispered so softly, so delicately, "You're crying. I can't see your tears, but I can feel your heart breaking. Cloudystar..." The RiverClan warrior closed his eyes tightly.

Then he opened them only a fleeting moment later, pools of a far off ocean staring into the abyss of achromatic irises. "I'm here." He finished, voice tight and yet soft with certainty.

I will never let you fall.

I'll stand up with you forever.

[the day the world went away]

Finally coming to a halt, she simply let herself collapse into that familiar position, hunched over against the starting rain, the wind roughly brushing across her soft sterling fur; her hurt silver eyes were narrowed against the precipitation and focused intently on a single puddle on the muddy ground, watching the heavy, cold raindrops make their rehearsed, rhythmic impacts on the once-smooth surface of the small puddle.

Then, quite suddenly, another cat was there beside her. At first she couldn't tell who exactly it was, and still the answer hadn't become clear to her numb mind when soft silver tabby fur so like her own brushed against her side, the mere touch sending warmth cascading all over her small frame. At first she shrank away, steely eyes ceasing to half-mast in anticipation of a flurry of claws scraping across her skull; but when the blow didn't come, she peeked her eyes open and inhaled sharply at the sight before her. Two widened, worried -- perhaps even loving -- eyes gazed deep into her own pale ones. They were enrapturing, maybe even beautiful: indigo rimmed the outer edges of the irises, coalescing with darker and lighter shades of cyan and cerulean to drift to a gently faded pale turquoise, a silvery color fringed the black verticle slit in the center, the pupil. They were probably the single most resplendent eyes she had ever sighted. They softened when she opened her own pale eyes, and faded achromatic silver met oceans of the purest blue in those mere seconds. Surrounding those two orbs was soft-looking silver fur, the pristine, glimmering shade of moonlight-touched faded gray. Darker gray stripes were painted across the ethereal face, pronouncing the perfect cheekbones, the dark-tipped ears, the light gray nose. Then it was that the quiet voice came.

"You're crying..I can't see your tears..but I can feel your heart breaking..."

Those words hit home. The immediate shield that had risen to cover up the agony when she first felt the soft fur brush against her own rain-drenched pelt crumpled and fell to ruins around her, an invisible wall fallen as if something heavy had collided with it, breaking the defenses easily. She lowered her pale eyes to the cat's paws, observing the averagely-sized mitts and how the silvery shade of fur just seemed to continue down, although the muddy ground stained them an earthy grayish-brown. After a moment of listening to the quiet voice and imprinting it into her memory, the leader lifted her faded gaze, slowly, hesitantly, to connect her silver eyes once more with the cat's beautiful, painfully empathetic sapphire orbs. It was then that she recognized him.

"Spike..shard?" she whispered, dazed, disbelieving. At first, she had thought an angel had come down to her to comfort her, but apparently it was one of her closest, most trusted friends..and she couldn't drag her eyes from their locked spot, connected with his. The depression was growing, though, and she couldn't stand it any longer...the fear, the sadness, the misery, the anxiety, the feeling of being helpless and hopeless..she finally broke down and let go. Slowly, steadily, thin lines of tears dripped from her pale silver eyes, hardly distinguishable from the torrents of rain dripping dejectedly down her seraphic face. "I'm sorry," she whispered, averting her sad pale gaze away from those terribly beautiful eyes, too ashamed to even look directly at him. "I shouldn't..I can't.." she trailed off, unable to find the words, let alone speak them. Instead, she sat there miserably across from the angelic cat, the tears running pitiful rivers down her petite face, the pale silvery eyes pained and despondent.

"Don't..don't leave me here, Spike. Please don't."

It didn't matter when I was
Calling out your name.
I felt the wound grow ever slowly
Closer than you'd ever hold me.

[grayfur]

He knew it was coming. It was obvious wasn't it? Was Cloud going for Spike instead? The gray warrior hid behind the bushes, peering out where there were holes. The tabby warrior was being sweet to the leader, but Grayfur knew better. He had to break them up. She wasn't going to be with Spike or Axel. it would just be the tow of them lie old times. Gray hunched his shoulders over, readynto leap into action. Spike was jealous, and he was doing his duties. Showed what a great warrior he was.

Grayfur took a step closer. He could feel his heart pounding. If this didn't go well, he was most likely to be kicked out. Oh, that would make him feel just great. Axel probably was going to take his place, if not spike. Gray knew the plated warrior was up to something, but what? Grayfur's tail twitched in confusion. It was soo annoying knowing that you were prey, and not knowing that there was a predator on the loose. Grayfur needed spike out of there.

He finally made his move. Wit a swish of his tail he leaped out of the bushes, head on. His gray body glimmered in the light of the moon, and his blue eys twinkled. Grayfur gave a heart sneer, his lips coiled so his glistening white fangs were showing. His messed-up fur blew in the cool breeze. He glared at the plated warrior, his eyes fixed on the other cat's eyes. Spike had no reason to be here. None at all. Why was he even with Cloudystar? She was his.

He smiled sheepishly and backed up. Quite a mistake he had made. But he regretted it not. Too late to turn back. Grayfur gave a hiss and hunched down, hsi tail twitching with annoyance. The cat was on his turf. "Get out," he snarled, hissing again. His claws were out and ready to attack. Grayfur had no sympathy for the warrior anymore. He was with his girl. He circled Spikeshard, growling and snarling. He wasn't usually this vicious. Angrily he swiped at the tabby, etending his claws. It was a warning. "Go, NOW! Leave this to me! You shouldn't be here!"

[l.ast of the [wild]s]

Spikeshard gave Cloudystar a tender, affectionate look. The plated warrior felt a strike of sadness in his body at the crushed, breaking words of his leader's heart. He felt his heart swell and crack from the she-cat's crying plea. As he watched Cloudystar crumble to the ground, droplets of agony staining her chrome silver fur as they spilled from achromatic eyes, the silver bengal felt his spirit shatter just a little more. Lapis lazuli opals softened in gentle care as Spikeshard tipped his head forward to lick between his leader's ears, wanting to whisper that he wouldn't ever dare leave her, that he would always be at her side, and that he needed her as much as she needed him now. However, as Spikeshard was about to whisper in Cloudystar's ears his confession, an unexpected interruption halted his movements. The plated warrior whipped his head around, sapphire orbs widening in surprise at Grayfur's outburst.

Spikeshard barely ducked his head in time, darkly-tipped ears pinning down against his skull to avoid the wrath of sharp claws. The argent cat blinked in confusion at the gray deputy's hostile words. A protective feeling grew in his heart when Grayfur spat at him that he shouldn't be here. Spikeshard hissed for a moment and placed his body between Cloudystar and Grayfur, brushing his pale moonshine pelt against her burnished coat. The plated cat gave the deputy a cold, detached look, sapphire orbs hardening into chips of pure ice.

"Why shouldn't I be here?" The RiverClan tom mewed challengingly, voice low and eerily calm. Any cheerful and light disposition was gone from the cat's mind, replaced by a feeling of repulsion. "Cloudystar needs my help. I swore my loyalty to her long ago. Grayfur you may be deputy, but she outranks you. She said that she didn't want me to leave. So I'm not." Spikeshard hissed in a steady, solid tone. He felt a confidence he had never felt before, an iron determination to guard Cloudystar so perhaps one day, she could look at him with the same tender glance he had given her. The silver bengal wouldn't let Grayfur's childish jealousy drive him awhile. He would stay and fight if he had too!

Then Spikeshard's blood ran cold when a realization dawned in his mind. Grayfur was jealous. Grayfur was bing hostile toward him. Grayfur was worried Spikeshard would steal his position as deputy. Grayfur was worried he would steal Cloudystar from him. Icy chips gleamed with a hard light, an almost malicious look in the tom's sapphire orbs.

"In fact, I should be telling you to leave." Spikeshard said icily as his cobalt eyes turned into harsh slits. Silver fur rose as a dangerous growl trembled in the plated warrior's throat. "Tell me, where were you when she was hurting? Where were you when she needed help in the camp? Why didn't you know she was hurting?! Why didn't you help her?! You don't deserve to be Cloudystar's mate! Both you and Axelflame are nothing but, sniveling pieces of crowfood!" A voice once filled with carefree cheeriness was now rising with harsh words and icy fury. Claws scarped against the ground as Spikeshard continued to place his body between the soft, sterling body and the dark gray tom.

"Unlike you, I won't leave her! I'll NEVER leave her! The argent tom spat his words out, not caring if they were hurting Grayfur's feelings. Whipping his head around, Spikeshard gazed at Cloudystar's tears, feeling his heart break just a little more at her feeble cries. Cold sapphires softened into smooth oceans and the plated warrior bent his head forward to lick the smooth, silver fur between Cloudystar's ears. A loving purr emitted gently from his throat. Gazing deeply into the achromatic eyes he had sworn his faith to, Spikshard at last knew what the feeling he had developed was. "This is how I feel about loving you Cloudystar." He whispered, voice filled with all of his passion.

[the day the world went away]

Crouched there while the cold rain sluiced down her dark pelt, the leader looked more frail than ever. She felt safe in the presence of the silver tabby cat, still shocked from his first appearance, looking so much like a beautiful angel, fallen straight from the heavenly domain above. Then his rough, soothing tongue cast a gentle lick between her dark-crowned ears, smoothing the dark silver fur laced with darker gray tabby markings down; the fond gesture made her breath catch in her throat, and she tried to relax but all her muscles did was tense, nervous by the affection but still loving the attention all the same. She was about to return the caring touch with a soft lick to his cheek when a dark blur sped out and leapt at them, hissing angrily.

Well, well, well. It was Grayfur, of course. Apparently he had been spying on them from the bushes..how disgraceful. Spying on his own leader from the shelter of ferns and various other types of foliage. Pathetic.

The leader angled her small head so it appeared that she was looking down at her paws, but she was really peeking up at the scene, rain dripping into her eyes and mixing with the still-falling tears, darkening her soft fur to an almost inky dark gray. Spikeshard had risen from his crouched position and now placed himself between the frail leader and the opposing gray deputy, harshly firing off insults to Grayfur as if he were of lower rank. It seemed true, the way Spikeshard so fiercely defended her..she wasn't quite used to the defense. All "mates" she had had never tried to defend her..Grayfur simply burst under the flirty pressure of Axel and ran away crying, but not before telling the dark-toned tabby to never return, to never talk to him again. Axel, well he simply mouthed off to other cats as if they were inferior and sometimes treated her like something to eat..someone to use. A machine. A puppet. Ultimately, that was what she was.

But..the silver tabby didn't treat her like mud. He didn't think of her as something low, something unworthy..no, he treated her like she was the best thing that ever existed. Perhaps, in his eyes -- his beautiful, flawless, captivating dark cyan eyes -- she was. And, for some reason that both stunned and scared her, she was flattered by it. No, she was more than flattered..she liked it. She liked how he treated her like something real, with real feelings, both raw and cooked. Like she mattered. Like she belonged.

And while she had been thinking about that, going over it in her mind, the silvery cat began to raise his voice angrily, furiously, incredulous of Grayfur and his ignorant actions, his unbelievable defiance of trying to say that Cloudystar belonged to the deputy and the deputy only. Then he turned and licked the top of her head again, the affectionate touch once more sending shivers crawling down the leader's spine. What he spoke gently in her dark ear next made her heart accelerate and pound wildly in her chest, battering crazily in her ribcage like a trapped bird.

"This is how I feel about loving you, Cloudystar.

[/b]"

She froze, then slowly forced herself to lift her pained gaze, the tears still dripping down her face. "I...Spike..I.." She knew what she wanted to say, her vocal cords just wouldn't work. Her voice faded to a small squeak as she tried to mumble out her last words; instead, she gave him such a look of adoration that it made the sharp, raw, throbbing pain in her silver eyes soften to a dull ache, that it made her usually cold silver eyes lighten to a faded gray, warming them with something akin to...love.

I know you can't hear me right now..

But I promise I'll make it up to you. I promise you'll understand.[/blockquote]

[grayfur]

Gray gasped. She didn't just... He sighed an dipped his head sadly. At least she was going for a good cat. Grayfur glanced at Spikeshard qusically. What had he done this time. The gray warrior gave him a slight sneer. He was really getting tired of Spike's fakeness.

Grayfur gave Cloudystar a pleading look. Why had she chosen him? Didn't she love Grayfur? Oh yeah, he forgot. She dumped him for that withering picece of slime. Grayfur gave a quiet growl at the thought.

tears welled in his eyes. He loved her, even if she didn't love him. he may be weak and pathetic, but grayfur had feeling stoo. feelings clo would never understand. he cared for her deeply. Why couldn't she se that?

"Clo.." he muttered, trying to get close to her. he was afraid she'd snap at him, take a go at his throat. What if she died? Did she even plan on dying?

[l.ast of the [wild]s]

| Love | can | make | miracles, | change | everything, |

He felt his heart split open with all the passion, affection, and love he ever felt for this dazzling, silver chrome she-cat. Deep, rich cyan eyes widened for a mere moment before softening as the tom felt a rush of devotion for the sterling feline in front of him. If the moment hadn't been so tense and serious, the argent warrior would have found Cloudystar's shocked stutters quite cute actually. The way those beautiful, alluring cinereal orbs filled with adoration, for him, made tenderness flow though his body. The plated cat gave Cloudystar a gentle look, a sweet gleam in his eyes that was so sweet it nearly dripped with honey. Lapis lazuli orbs gently neared the liquid silver and gazed with the utmost faith and love, a stirring emotion that would have made any other cat feel their blood warm from such passionate strength. A soft, pink tongue affectionately licked the burnished fur between two perfect ears.

| lift | you | from | the | darkness | and | make | your | heart | sing! |

Spikeshard felt his heart flutter as his blood pounded in his ears. Cloudystar was here. She was looking at him in a way so similar to how hew felt. Surely she must have felt the same way! The slim feline pressed his face into sterling fur, taking in the sweet scent of river water and rain, cyan opals closing in rapturing delight. She felt so fitting against him, moonshine silver mingling with liquid chrome, cobalt orbs opening to gaze into adoring achromatic eyes. His chest felt tight, a feeling fluttering inside him, ready to burst and sing a bird song to the world. Spikeshard flicked his ears, the droplets of rain scattering as the dark tips shifted. Cloudystar's scent was even more intoxicating and fresh from the rain, the smell swirling in his scent glands and making his mouth tingle from such a sweet scent. The argent tom didn't care if Grayfur was standing so close to him or if the ash pelted deputy hated him, all that matter now was Cloudystar. She was the only thing that could ever make his head buzz like this and cause his heart to whisper such compassionate affection. "You don't have to say anything Cloudystar. I know. I am here after all. I understand. Hush, my sweet one." The plated RiverClan warrior mewed quietly into fine, sterling ears. Spikeshard straightened, sapphire gazing down at Cloudystar's trembling body with a tender look. Her earlier lost, fragile look had since been replaced by something akin to love.

| You're | sick | of | feeling | numb. |

Gone was the agonized glint, washed away by a glimmering emotion. Even soaked to the bone, Cloudystar was as dazzling as ever. For the first time since the two had played like kits in the river, the silver bengal saw a spark of life in her steel opals. It gave him a glimmer of hope. Perhaps the she-cat leader was at last deciding that something was worthwhile, that he was worthwhile. Spikeshard gave Cloudystar another loving glance before turning his body to face Grayfur. His silver fur prickled as he stared at the gray deputy, sapphire orbs frosting over once more into chips of ice. The warrior lashed his tail and his muscled tense as he gave the other tom an emotionless, narrowed gaze. He felt no sympathy for the deputy. Grayfur's ignorance was foolish and ill-placed. He was tired of this game.

| You're | not | the | only | one. |

"Leave." He commanded, eyes stone cold and without compassion. The silver bengal was in a stance filled with pride, yet without mercy. "I need to speak with Cloudystar alone Grayfur. You're not needed here." He hissed, dark ears pinning back against his skulls as claws unsheathed and flexed against the river bend ground. He felt the earlier anger bubble in his chest. Deep within the gray deputy's eyes he could still see a gleam of suspicion. It infuriated Spikeshard that Grayfur would still suspect the plated warrior. Standing protectively in front of Cloudystar, Spikeshard bared his fangs and growled, eyes flashing with protectiveness and anger. He had lost his patience for the RiverClan deputy. The conflict with Axelflame, his cold words to his own mate, his suspicion of Spikeshard made the plated warrior's fur rise. Spikeshard was tired of this hostile game and he wanted it to end. If not for himself, then for Cloudystar.

[the day the world went away]

At the sudden movement of Grayfur trying to approach her, the small-framed leader whimpered almost inaudibly and struggled to lift her cramped body to a sitting position, the stiff muscles screaming in protest as she wearily tried to sit up. "Grayfur," she rasped, her soft-spoken voice hoarse from crying and the rainy moist air. "Grayfur. Why have you followed me?" Her silver eyes had lost their shine for a moment in time, and the heavily disappointed, stressed leader side of her won its dominance against the depressed part. "Can't I get my privacy, Grayfur? And after all, didn't you tell me back at that clearing to leave and never talk to you again? If I recall correctly, that's what happened.."

She shot Spikeshard a quick glance and tiredly flicked her thin, dark-ringed tail at his side, a signal to wait just a bit longer. "Grayfur, I am immensely disappointed in you. You are dismissed from my presence. Now go make yourself useful by watching over the camp." Her hard, cold "leader voice" was commanding and all-powerful, leaving no room for objections. "Go," she snarled out one last time, her voice cracking mid-syllable.

With that taken care of, she lowered herself back into her crouching position, relaxing as the rain drenched the cats and their surroundings, staining the leader's fur a darker gray, seemingly soft and shadowy. Cloudystar lifted her saddened silver gaze to the dark heavens above just in time to catch a bolt of lightning brightening up one patch of dark, rain-filled clouds for a split-second instant, one white-hot wire set against a darkened gray background; then the bolt faded, the plasma dissipating with a barely audible sizzle, leaving only darkness to rule the raging skies once more. A menacingly low rumble echoed next: thunder. Storms didn't scare the Riverclan leader; as a matter of fact, she liked to be outside during them. It gave her a sense of being one with the surroundings.

Oh -- she had almost forgotten that Spikeshard was still there. He was so perfect, the way his dark azure eyes shone whenever he looked at her, the way his dark-tipped ears flicked cutely to prevent raindrops from gathering up on them. The dark-toned leader lowered her silver gaze from the dark skies, bringing them down to rest on the silver tabby opposite her, observing affectionately the sheer perfection of Spikeshard. It pained her to see such an innocent cat -- he could never love her for what she's done or thought of doing. Suicide. He'll never love a cat that wants to end her life herself, her mind whispered, tormenting her. See? This was what would push her off the cliff. This was what would stab the silver dagger into her back and pull the bloody knife out, leaving her bleeding, dying body to rot. And in those final moments, her abusive mind would laugh. And laugh. And laugh.

You have no escape.
No escape.